It was work and I was grateful

"I didn’t get any spiritual uplift from the natural pain. It was work I had to do, and I was grateful I was able to do it. It just comes with the job. I did notice thought that I felt a lot better after the birth without the epidural than with one. I was more alert and awake after a natural birth than a drugged one. No new mom gets sleep, but I felt like I was recovering for weeks after my first"*

I just had to share this experience on this blog because I thought it represented such a down to earth view of labor and what it meant to one person. Labor does not have to be a major spiritual/other world experience. It can simply be hard work, but worth it.

I feel like this is a very refreshing view to take on life in general. Sometimes things are just hard work, but we do them for a reason. It reminds me of the idea that we should be grateful to have a sink full of dishes because it means we have food. Sometimes just the fact that we have to work at something is a blessing.

*This is quoted from a post from Robyn Warner.

New Artisit

I have a new artist added in the gallery. You can check her out by clicking on the photo above or the link on the right.

I am a mountain climber

Bear with me for a little bit because I'm going to talk about mountain climbing first. I promise this has something to do with labor:)

Imagine you are climbing a very difficult mountain. There are numerous trails, it's pretty steep towards the top, and there are many times you just really feel like you can't make it. In fact there are times when you are absolutely sure you can't make it. You keep going though, because you've been told that the view on the top is spectacular. Like something you've never seen before or could describe. And you get to the top and you realize that it is true and you are so grateful you pushed your way up that hill.

Let's say as you are climbing your mountain you find out that, while you have been pushed beyond what you thought you could do, you did do it. After that mountain climb and after you've seen that spectacular view you take that knowledge with you for the rest of your life. You have the ability to overcome. Also as you are climbing, you see plants that you never saw before, new birds, and new flowers. While these things aren't necessarily as awe-inspiring as the top, they bring you joy as you move along and that too stays with you once you have finished your journey. There are little beauties in your struggles and new knowledge to gain all around you. As you were traveling, your spouse came with you. As you were climbing, he could not take away your struggles, but his gentle touch on your arm and his encouragement through it all brought you closer together as you worked to both see the view at the top. That too stayed with you after you got back down. It was something you could trust in...your spouse was there by your side to help you.

Labor has been a lot like climbing a mountain for me. While of course having a child at the end of the journey is the most wonderful thing to have, the journey itself has taught me a lot. Mostly because it is a journey of self-discovery and beauty, and how to find peace through the pain.

The spirit of "power, love, and a sound mind"

There is a scripture that has come to my mind often as I have been embarking on this task of overcoming the fear of labor and that is..

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.(” (2 Tim. 1:6–7.)

I have looked at this is this way...as humans we have the ability to act, to love, and to think and reason. All three of these things are a part of working through our own fear. I've obviously talked about love, mostly because I have felt like that is the most important part. But being able to reason and act on our thoughts is also important. I know that is when I decide on a course of action that I feel less fear.

I find it inspiring to know that we have been endowed with these three abilities to help us overcome any fear. That we have been given the spirit of power, love, and sound mind.

Birth and Art

When I gave birth for the first time, I didn't realize how lucky I was. Well, that might be subjective. I gave birth in Arizona in one of the first free standing birth centers there. It was a beautiful place that I felt comfortable in without the stark floors and drab walls of a hospital. All they did there were natural births...they knew how to help women with a natural birth. I was in 24 hours of labor in pain, and surprisingly enough I came away from that with a very positive view of birth and my abilities to give birth. At that time, I didn't know that things were done differently at the hospital. I didn't know that having a natural birth was something that most women did not do. So, I had my second there. With both of these births I found great meaning and application to my beginning life as a mother.

Then I moved and the birthing possibilities were not the same. It was either at home, which I didn't feel entirely comfortable with, or in the hospital. I did not mind the hospital as much, but no one knew quite what to do with a woman who did not take pain medication. They simple had not had enough experience. It was at this point that I began to really explore why I still chose to have medication free births. Why would any of us choose to feel pain when it can easily be taken away? It's a question that I'm not sure I can still answer, except to say that somehow, I have found meaning in that pain.

This exploration has also led me to write my own blog...one in which I have explored the meaning of pain, fear, becoming a mother, and how this applies to motherhood. Part of this exploration has also led me to explore art in the context of birth also. I have felt like the meaning in birth and motherhood can be very difficult to explain and touches on emotional aspects that can sometimes only be expressed by art, either in writing, painting, sewing etc. Explaining the joy that came to me is like trying to explain why seeing the smile on my child for the first time makes me so happy. It is one of those experiences that has the ability to touch the inner core of who we are as women. As such, sometimes the only way we can express this is through art.

I myself am not an artist, but I appreciate and enjoy looking at and experiencing other peoples art. As a part of my own exploration, I began collecting other's art peices that showed what birth and motherhood meant to them. You can find that on my blog at http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2008/09/art-of-giving-birth-on-line-exhibition.html. I am still accepting more and see this an ongoing project, so if any of you would like to submit something send it my way. I would love to see how this process has changed you and how you have found meaning in your own roles as mothers.

New artists in The Journey of Giving Birth.

I've been adding to my collection of birth/motherhood art and appreciate the artists so far who have contributed. The latest one is from Eugenia Garcia entitled "Expectations". Please take a moment to see the wonderful works that have been done in honor of motherhood. You can access the link either from clicking on the top picture or by clicking on the link on the side entitled The Journal of Giving Birth-an online art exhibition. This is a work in progress and I am adding new pieces all the time so check back frequently.

"She was becoming"

"I remember studying an anthropology article in family science years ago. The details are a bit vague, but the essence of the article was that our English language is so flat and inadequate in describing the experience of a new baby. "Giving birth" we say, as easily as we say, "giving to charity" or "giving up." In one culture, the word for giving birth meant "becoming a mother" but the word was not so limited. It meant not only only "becoming a mother" but "becoming a mother to this child," a word full of meaning and substance. It meant that no matter how many times a woman had been a mother, when she gave birth, it was a sweet, precious, unique experience. She wasn't just "giving birth," she was entering into a new relationship, a whole new way of being. She was becoming. The child was not an afterthought, a number, or an object that could be given. It was such an essential part of the experience that their language included it in their word for giving birth: "becoming a mother to this child.""**

I wanted to share this quote with you from a friend of mine because it describes so clearly what giving birth really means. Throughout pregnancy and labor a women experiences trials and pains that somehow form the beginning of what it means to be a mother. This is the beginning, not only of a child, but of a unit, a mother, and a family.

This is the beginning of the sacrifice, the pain, the love, the joy that we find in family life. Perhaps that's why this is such a potent memory for many women...this is when they first began to become a mother. This is also a point in time to become a family.

When I think back to my first labor, I remember throughout most of it my husband by my side. Holding my hand, rubbing my back, being very patient with me as I tried to make up my mind as to what would be the best for me at this particular time. (I think I would get quite bossy). It was a time that our relationship changed also. From being separate beings, to being one being trying to bring a life together into this world. I look back on it with fond memories because I feel like that was when becoming parents, together, really started. I was becoming, but so was my husband. It really is amazing really how our beginnings can serve as a link and a bond and a jumping off point to become a family.

**The link to where this blog is posted is under my blog list...Hands full of love and loving it(mostly).