"stages" of labor

As I have been helping more women in labor, I have been formulating thoughts on stages of labor that have to do with how a woman emotionally deals with labor.  I think so often we focus on how far dilated someone is, that we forget to see how this experience is shaping a mom.  I see a lot of transformation happening at this time that could have the potentional to be very beneficial to the mom or very truamatic years down the road.  I will be posting these as I work through them and possibly revising them as I work with more women in birth.  I would love to hear anyone elses thoughts on this also.  

Birth Experience Contest

I am wanting to compile some essays on birth and the meaning behind birth, so I am offering a contest. The winner will receive a $100 gift certificate to The Kura Door, a holistic Japanese Spa in SLC Utah. Submit an essay, any length, with these ideas in mind: 1)How has birth changed your perspective on life in a positive way? 2) How has overcoming the difficulties and trials in birth helped you to grow in a positive way? 3)How has birth provided meaning to your life as a woman and a mother?

Send all submissions to rachel.leavitt@gmail.com with birth essay in the title. All submissions become my property and will be used in conjunction with my blog at www.thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com. 

The deadline is Aug. 15, 2009. Also, just as a heads up, I will probably be doing this periodically if different areas also (ie media, photography etc. )

Birth preparation

I have finally decided, after all my blogging, what I feel birth preparation should entail.  There are three aspects that I feel really need to be included..the spirtual, the emotional, and the physical.  The physical part is so important to understand, but I feel like so often that is it is the only thing we learn.  We think so much about what happens to us physically (i.e. the pain, the dilation, how that baby actually gets here, safety of both mom and baby), that we forget about the other two equally important factors.  And I feel it's sad that so often these other elements are missing from our modern births.  I really think this has more to do with how we view birth rather than what kind of birth we actually have.

I also feel like it is important to recoginize this time as a time of transition and transformation.  Not only of a mother, but of a family unit.  I remember after I had my third child, they handed him to me while the cord was still attatched.  I was a little awed at that, thinking that that was what was connecting me to him.  Then it was cut, and I felt myself having to acknowledge that seperation.  I think this was a time when I felt that transformation more keenly than at any other time.  It serves as a reminder to me of our connections to our children and the constantly changing nature that they are. 

New art

I have a new picture posted on my art blog by Eugenia Garcia.  Please take a look and see her beautiful work.

Holding on

I know there are times in my life that I struggle and struggle just to hold on to my sanity. So many times I have wanted just to give up or not wake up the next morning to the same thing. But I've pressed forward, knowing that the struggle will not last forever and that at some point after the struggle I find great rewards from going through that struggle.

Because of this I have come to realize that, while things can be rough at points in our life, the struggle to hold on reaps benefits in the end. I see this in labor as women work to find their way through the emotions of labor. In particular I see the difficulties of giving in. This is not really about whether or not you get an epidural or choose to endure the pain...this is about our emotional state. Emotionally when women have given in (whether or not they have an epidural), I see a look of despair and helplessness. It pains me to see this, because I want these beautiful women to know how strong they really are and how important what they have done and what they are doing is.

I want to hold them and rock them and tell them to hold on...just hold on...in the end..after the pain...will be joy.

the antidote to fear is courage

"the antidote to fear is courage".

I read this quote in a book by Ina Gaskin and at first I thought it sounded a little strange. How could you have courage if you were afraid, and if you were afraid, how could you find courage? I saw a woman yesterday giving birth that gave a new meaning to this quote.

Her baby was a distressed and the doctor told her that if she couldn't push it out with the next push, then she would have to have a c-section. I saw such a look of determination on her face. It was pretty amazing to see. I know her husband and her both were afraid that there was something wrong with their baby. The pronouncement of c-section was also frightening. But this lady took it in and I saw courage in here that dispelled her fears.

She did end up pushing him out, but even if she hadn't, I still saw her fear dispealled by her decision to be couragous. I think that feeling would have carried over even if she did have a c-section. Now I guess the question would be, how do we find that courage? Especailly in the face of fear.

Dispelling fear

http://www.wealth-prosperity.info/2008/08/happiness-series-step-9-replace-fear.html

This is a blog that found me actually, but I loved the steps it used here to dispel fear and thought they applied very nicely to labor, birth, and motherhood. Here's the steps they list:


1. Be aware of your body
2. Be in the present moment
3. Embrace silence through meditation
4. Relinquish the need for external approval
5. Get rid of negative emotions
6. Have total knowledge of yourself
7. Don't judge yourself and others
8. Remove toxins from your body and your environments

I might blog about some of these later and how they apply to the birthing process. I thought I'd just post them now for reference and thought.

I'll be blogging about these steps a little more at http://www.crazibeautiful.com/GirlfriendToGirlfriend/ExpertHome.aspx?id=49