Blessings

So basically I've heard two mindsets in regards to pain, and both of them are considered blessings. First, the idea that being able to experience a birth and work through the pain is considered a blessing. Second, the very fact that we are able to have drugs that will help to decrease the pain is considered a blessing. In either case a blessing is involved and is acknowledged as such.

In the LDS religion we believe that blessings come from the Lord and are available to help us in times of need. Elder Bednar has said this: "Since last October I have reflected repeatedly upon the phrase 'the tender mercies of the Lord.' Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits 'his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men'(D&C 46:15)".

Some ideas that I have heard from people around this idea have to do with being grateful for these perceived blessings. "I was grateful to be able to do the hard work of labor", "I was grateful for the medication that we have these days", "I was grateful that I was able to not have unneeded medications". etc.

Believing that these things can be and are blessings from God may not change whether or not we follow the predominate culture in our birthing practices, but it does change how we perceive it.

The value of Pain

In the LDS religion, pain and trials are seen as something that is valued. We believe that before this life we choose to come here and experience pain so that we could become more like our Heavenly Father. We believe that Eve knowingly made the choice to experience pain in mortality so that they could become more like God. Somehow experiencing pain, in the LDS view, is associated with becoming better people. From the last conference address, President Eyring expressed this view.

"The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of [Heavenly Father's and Christ's] infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks....

"...we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him.

Henry B. Erying, "Adversity," Ensign, April 2009, 23

On the other hand, I don't think we would ever hear anyone teach that we should not try and avoid pain or adversity. I think the key here is not what kind of trials or pain we go through, but how we choose to experience them.

It's so hard to try and guess how the LDS population takes this perspective with them into childbirth. How do women/mother's view their childbirth experience as it pertains to learning from pain, and do they find any value in it? I'm not just talking about the whole epidural thing either, because let's face it, pregnancy and birth are hard work no matter what way you choose. In reality, motherhood could be faced with the same questions.

Does our view of pain influence how we view birth and how we choose to give birth? With our perspective of pain, do we gain anything from going through the trials of childbirth? I would be curious to see what others thought. I'll share some of my own thoughts from what I've seen in my next post. I would also direct anyone to see Jennifer Fulwiler's post that she shared in the comments section. It's truely beautiful for those who are of a more religious mindset. It is also and interesting example of how one's religion might effect their views of childbirth.

Experiencing the divine

"Just then a contraction hits Katey, and like a well-oiled machine her sisters jump into action. They are all pushing on her body at different strategic points, and as Katey growls and mumbles and digs down into her gut to survive the pain, everyone else is calling out from different corners of the room, 'You're doing it!' or 'That's awesome!' or 'Keep it up!' The cheering and pushing and growling continue for what seems like a couple of minutes, what must have seemed like eternity for Katey, and when it's apparent that the contraction has ended, the room immediately sinks right back into silence. No one talks. Every single person is focused on Katey's next move.

"This goes on for another hour and a half, because even though she is dilated to a nine a lip has formed at the cervix and is refusing to budge. Katey is miserable, her hair is completely soaked with sweat, and you can hear that her vocal chords are shredded from all the groaning. At one point during a contraction she yells, 'Please! PLEASE! JUST HELP ME!' And I want to cry, her mother is bawling, and everyone else is cheering, 'You can do this! YOU'RE DOING THIS! HANG IN THERE!'

"The rest of this story goes like many other birthing stories, because when it was time to push she pushed like a champion, and I happened to be one of the lucky ones in the room to have a view of the baby as she came out, first her head and then her right arm came flying out, like, 'Ta da! Here I am!' And then everyone in the room started crying. They named her Lily Blanche.

"But what I guess makes this story quite different than any other birth I've personally attended or seen is the reverence with which every single person in that room treated the experience. It was like church in there, and for the hour and a half that I witnessed it, I just couldn't believe it. It almost didn't seem real. And as much as it was Katey's experience and everything that she had hoped it would be, it's what she gave to the rest of us that I won't ever forget. Because we all had to come together, all four hundred and eighty of us, for her. We all gained something incredible from forming that community around her.

"And the courage that she showed, the endurance, the sheer power of getting through contraction after contraction, I was just so inspired, so touched to be so close to something so primal and raw and vulnerable as she was during those hours, so thankful that she let me be a part of it. And I knew I would never be the same person after having witnessed it."*

This made me cry:) To me the pain, the courage, the strength, the weakness, the joy, the connection, the divine....this is what birth is about. And I feel like somewhere we've lost that....somehow. Or perhaps we've never found it....perhaps it's like many things in life, we don't know what we have until it is missing.

I don't care, really, what choices we make in birth except for the fact that we need to make the choice to experience the Divine. If we're not doing that, then we've missed out.

*http://www.dooce.com/2009/07/27/labor-story-part-two/#comments-start

Epidural stats

Ok, here's some stats I found about epidural use. It looks like in Utah we are quite a bit different. I would take these stats with a grain of salt, though. I'm not sure how well researched they are.

25% of women in the UK use epidurals

66% of women in the USA

Reference: http://ceaccp.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/abstract/4/4/114

The epidural rates at the major hospitals in SLC are over 90%.

Reference: http://forums.obgyn.net/ob-gyn-l/OBGYNL.9709/1052.html

I would say that would be closer to 95-98% from my experience.

If these stats hold true, then in UT we use epidurals quite a bit more. I wonder if this has to do with the culture here or if this would hold out among LDS women everywhere. I would guess it is a little bit of both. Do we see it as a blessing to have this, or do we reject pain more? Why? This seems like sort of a "duh" question to me, because who wouldn't want to not have pain. But for some reason, in Utah (where the majority of people are LDS), we care a little bit more about having our epidurals.

Is this really an issue of pain control? Or is it more an issue of fear? None of this has been studied really.

There are a couple of things I would like to blog about in upcoming posts: the lds view of pain, and how often do we use prayer, blessings, and such in our decisions regarding labor/birth and the trials associated with it.

Birth culture panel

I am going to be a part of a panel in Aug discussing birth culture among the LDS community. I'm a bit nervous for this as I am very non-confrontational. This panel will stretch me I think. The topic is "NATURAL CHILDBIRTH: THE

CONTEMPORARY MORMON WOMEN’S

NATURAL RESPONSE: “NO WAY!”"

This panel will discuss why contemporary

Mormon women have such strong feelings about

this topic, how it defines the beginning of our

journeys as mothers, how it might reflect LDS

dependence on male authority figures in our decision-

making, and the diminishing importance of

midwifery roles within the LDS community from

the early Pioneer days when they were held in

such spiritual esteem.

Up until then, I might use this blog as a way to get my own thoughts out about this. So, for those who are less religiously inclined, pardon my sidetrack as my own religious thoughts will be poured out here...as well as how that relates to how I view childbirth.

First off, I'm not sure I agree entirely with the thoughts presented here, but I do find them interesting. I would love to hear from others (LDS or not), about how religion has played a part in their birth decisions. So stay tuned:)....

Facing the Giants

I just recently watched Facing the Giants, and through the whole thing couldn't help relating it to birth and motherhood. Essentially this is a movie about overcoming obstacles that seem bigger than you. It just so happened that I had just helped with a difficult labor/c-section the night before.

Here's what I came away with...much of what we experience in life can seem larger than us. I know, as a mom, there are days when I feel like there is no way I can do another day like the one I just had. In labor, I think we come to same conclusions. There is no way I can handle another contraction, there is no way I can push any longer. There is no way I can take care of this baby once I go home.

One of the things that we have to do during these times is depend on something larger than ourselves. If we feel that we are alone, then we feel small and unable to conquer. As a Christian, my faith in God helps a lot. For those that aren't Christian though, one of the greatest "power" we can have is our love for our children. If we can grab a hold of that and hang on, I really feel like that can help us to face our own giants.

The other thing that helps is realizing that facing our giants may have to be done in ways we aren't expecting. I had one mom that when faced with forceps/c-section, said a prayer, and pushed that baby right out. Another one I had when faced with the same situation, gave it all she had to the very last, but needed a c-section. Both faced their giants in different ways. One was able to deliver vaginally, the other had to face her fears of a c-section. Both were equally strong. And both were able to push themselves above what they thought was possible to overcome difficulties.

Nursing Birth

I just wanted to highlight a new link I have under other links. While I have intentionally tried to steer away from discussing the medicalization of birth, this is a great blog that discusses that if anyone is interested. My main purpose for writing is to bring meaning to birth and motherhood, but I do feel that there are other important points to be discussed. Nursing Birth is written by an L&D nurse and I have found that many of her experiences have mirrored my own. Thus the inclusion. If any of my readers want to steer away from the controversies of birth, then this link is not one I would look at. If on the other hand you are curious, take a look. It has great research and is well thought out.