Birthing without fear

I am starting to pull together some outline for a childbirth preparation class centered around finding meaning in birth and motherhood. You can find my beginning outline at http://rachelleavitt.wordpress.com/.

The motherhood project

Here's a link I came across for those who are wanting to add a little bit to our research knowledge out there about women, motherhood, and birth.

http://www.headandbelly.org/

Stories of Empowerment-necessary c-section

I wanted to do a series of stories on empowerment. I specifically wanted to include stories from all sorts of births. This first one is from a woman who eventually had a c-section, but found empowerment in what happened.

"I listened to a story from a woman who had a baby a few weeks past her due date. She had been having contractions for weeks, but no baby to show for it. On the day of her labor induction, she put all of her trust and faith into her body and her midwife. And on the next day, and the next day, and the next day… She labored for days, but was never afraid, never lost faith, and never feared what her body was preparing her for because a midwife was by her side the entire time. When she was wheeled into the operating room for a c-section, she felt empowered, because she had done everything she could to give her body a chance to give birth, and this was the logical next step. She was so grateful to her midwife for advocating for her and helping to make sure she and her baby stayed healthy"*.

*http://mybestbirth.ning.com/profiles/blogs/wheres-my-midwife-week-2

Motherhood and love

I took a bath today for the first time since I was laboring with the last of my children. As I sat there I recalled memories of my labors and soaking in the water to help relieve the pain. I realized that I consider my labors to be a blessing. Mostly because the pain and the trials and the comfort and the prayers are all mixed up in my mind with the joy and happiness of being a mother.

I think not only of the trials of birth, but the trials of motherhood also. Will I look back on this time also with feelings of satisfaction and joy? Even in the midst of difficulties and pain....I feel the love I have for my children and I am a peace.

I have heard of some women who resent their children for bringing upon them the pains of labor. And I feel sorry that such a joyous moment could be harrowed by such a sad thought. For them, I wish they did have the epidural. Or something that could help them feel the peace and joy I have felt. For me though, the pains of labor have taught me love. Or maybe it's love that allowed the pains of labor to become meaningful. Either way, as I sit and contemplate, I am once again filled with love for my children and the desire to be the best mother I can.

Essay Contest Winner

By Jamie Wagner

My husband Josh and I had been trying to get pregnant for a total of about 18 months (with some hiatus periods because of insurance issues from job changes), and each and every month of trying would culminate in excitement and end in tears. We eventually went to see an OB/GYN for a fertility evaluation. I had been charting my temperatures for 6 months and using ovulation predictor kits, and all we were told was, "I don't know why you're not getting pregnant. It looks like you know what you're doing. Your husband can do a semen analysis if you want." Cup in hand, we left the doctor's office, not sure why we felt such peace about the whole situation when we had expected more intervention than this.

We put off the semen analysis because we were focused on moving and going on vacation for two weeks. When we got back from our trip and moved in to our new apartment, my husband was getting ready to graduate from the university, and things were pretty busy, so we totally forgot about that little cup in the bio-hazard bag. The week of Josh's graduation I was anticipating the monthly visit from "Aunt Flo", but she didn't come. I didn't think too much about it, because the last time that she didn't come on time and was five days late, I had the hardest time bouncing back from realizing I wasn't pregnant after all---again. After a week, I finally took two pregnancy tests. The second line was pretty faint, so we decided not to announce anything to family while they were here for the graduation because we didn't want to get everyone all excited only to have to break the bad news later. The next week we finally decided to go to the health department for a pregnancy test because they'd be able to tell us for sure. I remember coming out of that office just beaming and crying and all excited to tell our family that we were finally expecting!

Then that night I broke down crying for a different reason. Eventually the baby would have to be born. And that was something that terrified me. Everyone I knew said that birth was the most painful experience you'd ever have---that it was akin to dying. Josh and I had decided a long time before getting pregnant that we wanted a natural birth experience. But when it came down to it, could I really handle all that? I am a pretty big wimp when it comes to the unknown. Especially if the unknown, according to what people told me, included intense pain and misery. Obviously people had had natural birth before and survived (my own mother did it eight times--twice she asked for an epidural or other anesthesia because she had done the natural birth route before and figured she deserved a break, but it didn't work either time), but could I? People I talked to about our desire for natural birth thought I was completely nuts, and told me so. Why not just go with the flow, right? Everybody gets epidurals. Why not me too?

Because I didn't want to. For some reason this was one time I didn't just want to conform. This was one time I wanted to do something different--something I considered to be WAY outside my comfort zone.

But then there had to be some way to manage things during birth---I needed some kind of structured help (since I also freak out and give up rather easily). One of my friends had taken a Hypnobabies course and loved it. I wasn't too sure how I felt about hypnosis. To me, and to others I'm sure, hypnosis brought to mind a man waving gold watch on a chain in front of my face and making me make chicken sounds or something. I wanted to be in control of things, not controlled by things, but my friend assured me that self-hypnosis is very different from all that. Josh and I researched Hypnobabies and felt really good about it, so we enrolled in the course. I really was intrigued by the claim that childbirth with hypnosis could be painless, and wondered if my mind and body really could relax enough to make that happen. Josh and I did a pretty good job at practicing the hypnosis scripts and CDs often in order to prepare, and we felt confident in being able to use those techniques during the birth in order to have a peaceful, beautiful experience.

However, at about 37 weeks of pregnancy at my checkup, my blood pressure was off the charts, and the midwife found protein in my urine, so I was sent next door to the hospital for a non-stress test and bloodwork. After four hours of monitoring, I was sent home on bed-rest with instructions to come back in a few days to be re-evaluated. To keep this part short and sweet, imagine that process two more times, each time with no conclusive answers as to why my blood pressure would still be so high when I didn't have any other pre-ecclamptic symptoms (other than a small amount of protein in the urine). At the very last non-stress test, the midwife suggested an induction, in order to put an end to the testing and in hopes that delivery of the baby would put an end to this high blood pressure problem. However, my cervix was closed, high, and virtually not looking like it was going to budge at all. Josh and I were concerned that an induction would only start the snowball of events we did not want---pitocin, epidural, c-section. The midwife wanted to just keep me at the hospital that night and get things going, but Josh and I decided we wanted the weekend to decide what to do and prepare if the change in our birthing plans was necessary.

My fear returned. Hypnobabies had taught me to feel so confident in my ability to give birth naturally. We had practiced and done our best to learn everything we needed to know. Now, however, we felt like we were being asked to bring our baby into the world in a way we did not want. We didn't want to be a product of medical intervention, though we understood that at some times it is very necessary. My situation, however, was so unconclusive. I wasn't officially diagnosed with pre-ecclampsia. They really couldn't since I wasn't demonstrating all, or even most, of the symptoms.

So here we were, packing our hospital bag just in case our baby boy decided to come on his own that weekend. I was scheduled to go into my midwife's office on Monday for another checkup and most likely a decision regarding the induction proposition. I contacted our Hypnobabies instructor, who suggested we download the "Come Out Baby" Hypnosis track. It had been proven effective in getting the mother's body and baby's body to cooperate and get birthing going. It, of course, was like any other means of induction--if your body was ready, it would work. If not, it wouldn't. I listened to it twice a day (the max recommended), but nothing happened. Monday came and once again induction was suggested. She gave Josh and me time to talk about it, and we decided to go ahead with it, because I was only 2 days away from my "due date", and if we didn't, it would only mean repetition of the same rigamaroll we'd already been through with non-stress tests and bloodwork and such, and by that point I was just so tired of all of the drama. As I wrote that, it sounded extremely selfish, which is how I felt on the drive home from the midwife office. I cried and cried and thought about calling the midwife and telling her we wouldn't be going to the hospital that night, but I didn't. For some reason I started to feel at peace.

We had asked everyone we knew to pray for us during this whole ordeal. Usually I am the one being asked to pray for someone else. This time the roles were reversed, and it was very humbling to hear so many people say they were praying for us every day from the first day of bed-rest. The strength from all of those prayers truly comforted us as we went home and finished getting things ready. At our midwife's suggestion, we went out to dinner as our last date pre-parenthood, and then headed over to the hospital. The plan was to start a cervical ripener that night, which would last 12 hours, and then start pitocin the next morning around 7:30 am. We got checked in to our room, the nurse put in the Cervadil, which was pretty painful since they had to put it behind my uncooperative cervix, and we just waited. We played card games and chatted and finally tried to fall asleep. Josh slept pretty well, but I couldn't. I decided to put on the "Come Out Baby" hypnosis track, and listened to that before finally dozing off. I woke up around 3 am, feeling kind of funny, and realized that every so often I would feel a cramp-like sensation in my belly. I woke up Josh and he immediately came to see what was going on. Before I knew it, the contractions were coming harder and closer together. I had no idea which "stage" of labor I was in, as I didn't feel any kind of gradual progression.

Josh called our doula, who was planning on being there the next morning when the pitocin was supposed to be administered, and she came right over, also surprised to see me having so many contractions. I will never cease to be amazed at the way Josh was able to stay calm and really use our Hypnobabies techniques on the fly. There was no time to read official scripts. He had to just go from what he remembered, and I really believe he received some Heavenly help to do everything he did. He was able to provide physical, emotional and mental comfort all at once. When I'd start to freak out, he'd bring me back down into relaxation. Our doula also was invaluable. She would constantly remind me to breathe and use low moaning tones to allow my body to open. One thing she told me that continues to stand out to me was when I was again unsure of my ability to really give birth, and I said, "I can't do this!" and she said, "You ARE doing it! You ARE!" That was so empowering to me. I just had to let go and let my body do what it needed to do! Our baby was going to be born!

I can't remember my exact progression, as things went so quickly, but I did go from being dialated to a 2 and fully effaced at around 4am, to a 9 at 9am. The midwife showed up around 9 o'clock, when I was already getting really pushy. It's so amazing how the urge to push out the baby is so strong. It's a natural instinct that really can't be held back, at least not very effectively. Before the midwife arrived, the nurses told me not to push because there was still a lip of cervix that could swell up and reverse my progress if I did. That was not what I wanted to hear, and once again I started to really get anxious and upset. I was having a hard time breathing because there was literally no pause between contractions, and here I was being told not to push when that was all I wanted to do. I finally asked for some Fetanol to slow things down a bit and give me a chance to relax and breathe a little more. They gave me half a dose, which was pretty much like taking a Tylenol for a migrane, but it was sufficient--at least psychologically it seemed to work. Josh and our doula continued to work to help me relax and breathe. I sure was glad when the midwife arrived and I was able to finally push!

Because the labor was so fast and intense, our baby's heart rate was dropping with each contraction and not coming back up. They put in an internal monitor, and we knew we had to get this baby out fast. There was even one of the obstetricians standing outside the room door with an epidural and forceps if necessary. (Supposedly he didn't believe in using forceps without administering an epidural first.) Once the midwife explained the situation, I felt my resolve to continue naturally increase. Josh stood beside me working to keep me relaxed and focused, and our doula and one of the nurses held my legs as I pushed. It turned out that our little guy had the cord around his neck once and around one of his arms, which was pinching the cord and causing his heart rate to drop. I think that the pushing stage really was the hardest part of the birth because I was so tired and I was tensed up because of the possible forceps delivery and the insistence of the midwife and nurses that I really push because we didn't have time to wait. It was so intense, but you know, not nearly as painful as I expected it to be. Yes, it hurt, and I had never felt pain like that before, but it wasn't so unbearable as I think it's been made out to be. The fact that I was able to do it without drugs---me, who I used to consider to be a really wimpy person---was so empowering.

I will never forget the awe I felt as I saw our baby come out. This little person that had been growing and developing inside of me was born! The midwife quickly cut the cord and he was examined by the hospital staff immediately. Our little boy was just perfect. As I was being stitched up from my episiotomy and tear, I couldn't help but just smile and cry and laugh. We had done it! Josh and our baby and I had worked together and seen a miracle. So many united prayers had been answered. When they handed me our sweet baby boy, I just stared at him in wonder. This was the baby we had waited so long for. This was the baby we had prayed for and hoped for. It was amazing. I felt such an overwhelming love for him that I start to cry even now.

There is a certain euphoria that accompanies birth. Perhaps it's partly because the mother realizes her body was indeed capable of bringing that little life into the world, but I believe that mostly it's because for a time heaven and earth collide. A new little person has arrived in mortality, and one can't help but feel amazed at how powerful a body is at creating another human life from two tiny cells. The awe of each tiny finger and toe, the first eye contact, watching the forehead wrinkle and the little mouth open in a tiny sigh, seeing him kick his feet and you realize those were the same feet that bruised your ribs for the third trimester, a head of downy hair, the soft skin....absolutely amazing.

As I watch our baby grow and change and learn, I feel like I too am on that same course. We're learning together how to be mother and child. We're nurturing each other. He reminds me daily of what's really important in life---the snuggles during and after feedings, nightime lullabies (even if the baby wakes up the second after you lay him down), tummy time, walks in the sunshine, being together, observing the world through new eyes, smiling in your sleep, unconditional love, holding your head up, and not being afraid to cry.

Amazing.

Family

"Five years ago today, Boho Boy and I were woven together for life, standing near crashing waves on a cliff, in front of dear family, friends and passers by that gathered. Even two nuns decided to sit and listen to our vows while our hands were tied together in silk.

Tonight we brought Cedar to the beach not too far from where our ceremony took place. Ahead beyond the waves, we could see the cliff where we stood five years ago. It was lit up in orange and red hues as the sun went down on the water.

Five years ago today, how could we have known the journey we would travel? Five years ago today, how could we know that tonight we would stand side by side, holding one of the most amazing human beings and calling him our son, our family, as we gazed back at where we once stood?

I imagined us waving at our past selves standing on that cliff...reassuring that all will be okay. All will be mended. All will be healed...and dreams will come to fruition grander than we had dreamed up.

It was surreal tonight. And as I watched my boys run and chase the seagulls I took a deep breath and with tears forming, I laughed out loud. A deep, joyfully soaked laugh and as my hands were cupped up to my mouth, I whispered thank you."*

I found this post and thought that this is what birth is really about. It's about creating a family. This story actually came from a family who adopted, but I think we go through all the same emotions, trials, ups and downs etc, as you do with actually giving birth. I too look back at myself years ago, and laugh a joyful laugh. Nothing can express the joy you can feel as you start the journey of motherhood. I just hope I never forget the significance of this event as I take care of women.

* this quote is taken from: http://bohophotography.blogspot.com/2009/08/five-years.html

New Artist

I've got a new artist added on to my art gallery. Click above to see.

The journey of birth

"Truly birth is a journey. It can be amazing, lifechanging, paradigm shifting. It can also be paralyzing, painful, and victimizing. However it is for each woman, it will make her new. She will change because of her experience and become a different being.

My journey has been perilous at times and joyous at times. But the most important thing I have learned is that birth doesn't define me.

I used to think I was a failure. I would watch the women around me giving birth so easily and talking with such joy about their experiences. I couldn't understand why it wouldn't happen for me.

I tell people I have done it every way but cesearean and it's true. My first child was born in the hospital. I had planned a natural birth but ended up having an epidural at 9cms. I felt like a failure. My second child was born in a birthing center. It was my first completely natural birth. The midwife was pushy and forceful and I felt victimized. I yelled a lot and it was very scary. I felt like a failure. My third child was born in the hospital after an induction and an epidural. After planning a homebirth and being 12 days overdue and having seriously scary anxiety attacks I "gave in" and went to the hospital. I felt like a failure. My fourth child was adopted from India. She hated me and it was scary. I thought I would love her from the very second I met her and I didn't. I felt like a failure. My fifth child was born at home. I had an anterior lip and I yelled for almost 2 hours as I tried to push him out. I ended up having to get out of the birth pool and give birth on a birthing stool. I felt strong but still felt like a failure because I had yelled so much. My sixth child was born after a perfect labor and only 15 minutes of yelling. She was born at dawn in a backyard hot tub in the cool crisp morning. Birds were singing and it was beautiful. But I had yelled for 15 minutes so I still felt a little bit like a failure.

Now don't get me wrong. There is something surreal about a birth that goes perfectly. The birth of my sweet baby girl, Virginia, was a perfect birth. Finally I got my water birth and I only yelled for 15 minutes! ;-) It truly was a healing birth for me. But what it healed was all in my head. It was my own self that had been labelling myself as a failure. Now that I had been "successful" I realized how silly I had been. I realized that I had been berating myself for nothing. I realized that how babies came into the world was such a tiny part of life and I was putting too much emphasis on the how and ignoring the why. I stopped letting birth define me!

What a paradigm shift! So to all you moms out there, no matter how you choose to birth, I commend you for choosing to bring a child into this world. I wish you peace in your decision. Please don't let guilt change you into someone you are not. Let your birth be under your control. Don't let anyone patronize or belittle you. Be strong in the knowledge that you are a woman who is strong. You were built to give birth and you will, the way you want, where you want and how you want. And the most important thing to remember is that you are more important than your birthing experience. If things don't go the way you plan, you are not a failure! Don't spend your life thinking that way. Having the perfect birth is wonderful, but it's not essential to being a good mother.

I hope your journey is ecstatic. I hope you won't let your birth experience define sum total of your self worth. I wish you joy in mothering. And most of all I pray that your child will be healthy and beautiful and strong just like its mother".*

I appreciated this thought because birth is a journey, and not always the one we expect. But, we should first off quit thinking we are failures. C-section moms amaze me just as much as a wonderful natural birth. We need to refocus and just realize that no matter what birth can have meaning in our lives.

*This post is found at http://www.crazibeautiful.com/GirlfriendToGirlfriend/ExpertHome.aspx?id=57

My personal believes

I was asked to think about some questions in preparation for the panel on Thurs., so I thought I'd write them out here. Just to warn you, this panel is pro-natural (but without the intent to try and change people's minds). The moderator explained it this way: "I am more interested in how and why our opinions about natural childbirth are an extension of or divergence from a LDS communal background". So these questions are obviously pro-natural, but with the intent of exploring our own cultural background and how that has applied to our own pro-natural philosophy. I will say up front that, while I feel like natural birth is the better way, I give credence to others views, opinions, and believes and in no way feel like I should enforce my own ideas on others or feel like I am better than anyone else out there(though, I would love for all moms to find the joy and fulfillment in birth and motherhood that I have found, and in some ways feel that birthing naturally has helped me personally find that). I am interested in others comments that differ from mine as long as they are respectful. OK that said...here are the questions and my thoughts and ideas.

1. Do you think there is a difference between the birthing philosophies/expectations of LDS and non-LDS women? Or do you think LDS women simply reflect the national and cultural norms of the United States? (Please bring statistics to support your views if you have access to them.)

It's really hard to answer this one, as not much research has been done. As was seen by my previous post http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2009/07/epidural-stats_23.html, the research out there is not very well done or isn't done at all. All I can say about this is based on my own experience. Even that just reflects how things are here in UT. So really, my experience does not say much about the LDS population as a whole. With that in mind, here is what I think.

I don't feel like the culture of the LDS reflects upon their birthing choices. I think, for the most part, that they probably follow the main culture in this respect. I do think how they interpret their birth choices and subsequent births, though, shows a reflection of our culture. Many women pray, are given blessings, look for guidance from God, and assume that whatever the outcome is, it is God's will. The LDS religion seems to play the comforting part rather than dictating their choices.

One that I've thought more on recently is being non-judgmental. We do that too much in birth.

For me, my religion played more of a role afterwards. I didn't really use it to help me through labor, (though looking back now, I wish I had), but rather I feel like I have gained a greater understanding of my religion through birth. These are things that I feel are very sacred to me and have come to mean a lot. Most of the things I have learned have come, not during labor, but looking back and contemplating it. This is perhaps one of the greatest gifts I feel I have been given. I accredit this to my religious culture as well as the birthing culture I have come to embrace.

2. What specific doctrines in the LDS church support or contradict your birthing philosophy? Is it surprising to you that more LDS women are not interested in researching /implementing natural childbirth as an extension of their LDS beliefs?

This scripture has become the backbone for how I view birth. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”. (2 Tim. 1:6–7.) http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2008/11/spirit-of-power-love-and-sound-mind.html

When it comes to making choices, God has given us power(the priesthood, prayer, faith etc.), love, and the ability to think and reason. Used together, I feel like we are better able to navigate birth and the beginning of motherhood. I really feel like fear should not be the guiding factor. I've talked a lot about this on my blog before. Here is a link to one entry that specifically mentions this scripture: http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2008/11/spirit-of-power-love-and-sound-mind.html

I think one of the doctrines that has begun to impress me of late, is that of the importance of the family. The family is central to God's plan. Believing this, I feel like how our family begins is of up most importance. Not only that, but labor and birth are a great example how women and men work together to help support and sustain each other. This can be wonderful to watch and be a part of as families begin their lives together. I blogged about that here: http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2008/11/she-was-becoming.html

Our bodies are sacred and we are children of God. This idea influences greatly how I perceive my own role in giving birth, but also the role of other women that I work with. I believe all women deserve more respect, gratitude, and appreciation for giving of themselves to bring children to this earth. I think this is often overlooked and forgotten by those working in labor and delivery. Yes, the life and safety of the mom and baby is our guiding factor, but just as important is the realization that what these women are doing is sacred. That bringing forth that life is sacred, and in my opinion we are on sacred ground when we are with them to help, not only because of them, but because of what they are doing.

These are things that I think guide my birthing philosophy, but birth itself has led me to understand important doctrine. These include: the atonement, the value of opposition, a greater understanding of joy, the joy that comes to us at the end of this life, how life may be during the second coming (it is often compared to labor) as well as after the second coming, how to love others, how to overcome trials, the relationships between man and wife, the power of creation, our love of God, the importance of each soul, the connection that can and should exist among people, the value in motherhood and families, forgiveness, what it feels like to be in the depth of sorrow and return again, how to persevere, the value of hard work, and how to work together with someone else to bring about a common good. (Just as a side note, I definitely feel that these things can be gleaned in other areas of life and are not exclusive to birth. These are just things that I learned from birth itself and value).

I think women do research natural childbirth, but then decide they don't want to do it. I think this has more to do with our mainstream birthing culture than our own religious culture. Our modern medical culture views pain and the pain of childbirth as something to run away from. Now I know that will make most people think, "well of course", but we only think that way because it is our culture. There is a great article about how we become oblivious to our own culture and how it affects us when we live in it, yet can appear very strange and different to others. You can find it at: https://www.msu.edu/~jdowell/miner.html

I'm not sure how many women actually view this as something that their religion should play a part or if doing in natural should be an extension of their religion. I would hesitate to put it in those words. After all, I don't think that after this life it's going to matter how we give birth. In a different mindset, though, I do think it matters what we make of challenges, difficulties, and experiences. In that regards, I would think more women should take their childbirth choices more seriously. As LDS women we regard life as sacred, we regard our bodies as sacred, we understand that we are given the opportunity to make choices, we understand that we are able to learn much from the choices we make, we also understand that we can receive guidance. It seems to me that if that's a given, as LDS women we can and should regard our birth choices as something to be taken seriously. (As well as many other choices we make in life).

4. What specific cultural attitudes in the LDS church support or contradict your birthing philosophy? Is it surprising to you that more LDS women are not interesting in researching /implementing natural childbirth as an extension of their LDS cultural upbringing?

see above

5. I have often felt that motherhood is the rite of passage into legitimacy within the LDS community (versus a mission for the men or even receiving temple endowments). Do you agree? If so, how does our choice of a natural or medicated birth define our "successful" acceptance into the adult community?

I think motherhood is sort of viewed this way, but I'm not sure it should be. I also don't feel like how you give birth should make you acceptable or not. In fact, I like to steer away from discussions like this because it seems very superficial. How you give birth should not decide how you are viewed in a culture. This does happen in all cultures, but really should not be the focus of why we give birth the way we do.

6. Do the majority of LDS women feel empowered by their birth experiences? Why or why not?

I think to some extent most do. Though, I can think of numerous times when I see lots of fear, failure, and hopelessness reflected in mother's eyes. And this is with all kinds of births. I do see the most energy and light(sorry, I don't know how else to describe it) with good natural births. But there are natural births were the above mentioned negative emotions are seen also. Most studies will say that a positive birth experience is determined by how in control a woman feels. I tend to agree with this. The thing that disturbs me the most are when women feel these negative emotions and are are not able to work through them.

How to help with that has been my challenge and personal desire. All I can say now is that it depends on their feelings of control. How to give that to every mom while still maintaining safety is the challenge. I would love to hear any thoughts or ideas on this one.

7. What suggestions do you have to bring the discussion of natural childbirth into more of a focus within the LDS community?

I think we do need to do this, but I'm a birth junky:) I do think it would be useful, though, for moms to hear different perspectives from people who have done birth differently and why. In wards that have a younger population it might be useful to do an activity around this. Part of the problem around these issues, though, is the amount of tension and judgment that goes on. That I think would be more of an issue. They used to have classes in RS that was taught during their block of time that involved taking care of yourself while pregnant. Something like that might not be a bad idea depending on the population.

8. Other personal theology, pet peeves or SOLUTIONS?

We need to encourage women to use what we are given in our religion to help them through birth. I also really believe that having other woman present who are willing to help, as well as a spouse who is supportive there, helps a lot. I had one woman tell me that what helped her through her unwanted natural labor, was a blessing her husband had given her just a few days before. I think we could be turning to the Lord more often when making birth decisions as well as asking for his help and guidance. We have so much that we can utilize to help women.

I think having another woman there that we can connect with helps also because as women, we like the presence of other women(usually:)). In fact, I remember reading an interesting study about how women respond to stress (ie labor:)). They tend to gather around each other, rather than the flight-and-fight response we usually hear about. You can find this study here; http://www.apa.org/monitor/julaug00/stress.html

I also think we need to share more positive stories of labor and birth (and motherhood for that matter). So often we like to tell our horror stories, but I'm not so sure it's very helpful in preparing new moms. Fear does nothing for helping us grow. If there are bad things that happen, we need to share how we overcame them.

My only real pet peeve is the fighting that takes place among the various groups who choose differently. It is not productive.

I would love to hear anyone elses responses to these questions also, no matter if your for natural birth or not. I think it would be interesting to see how any of our decions in birth are a reflection of the LDS culture. So feel free to share.

Prayer

This is something I see quite a bit of during labor and birth. I am ashamed to admit that it never crossed my mind to ask for help from above, but I do see many other people do that. I think this gives a sense of peace to many people during birth. There is this idea that through prayer we are able to access divine help. Many times I have seen this gives moms a new sense of strength and awareness. There is also this sense that no matter what, your prayer has meaning....therefore, your pain, trials, and tears have meaning.

The other time I have seen lds women use prayer is in making decisions on choices to make during labor. Should I be induced, should have have medication, should I give birth at home or in the hospital. Here's one of my favorite blogs that shows how one woman incorporated prayer into her decision making. http://segullah.org/daily-special/at-35-weeks/ I think these kind of conversations with God, ourselves, and others around us is pretty typical of how our believe in prayer can change how we view birth.

Labor story

I just wanted to post this link here because I thought it was a wonderfully written birth story...just to warn you, though, there is some swearing in it.

http://www.dooce.com/2009/08/04/labor-story-part-three