Childbirth choices-what good decision did you make?

"S: You said you were not a self caretaker – can you think back and think of one moment when you were?
me: (thoughtful) – well…I guess the only time I can think of is when I asked my midwife to break my water. I needed it to be over and I knew that breaking my water would at least make it go faster.
S: Yes. That took a lot of courage.
me: I process this statement – courage? is that true for me? I think back…
me: yeah, it did take a lot of courage. the labor pain was so intense I was fearful – so it did take a lot of courage to ask for my water to be broken knowing that it would increase that pain. Craig had told me to ask her to break my water earlier but I knew I couldn’t do it at that point because I was so afraid.
me: peace floods my being. I did have a moment of being a warrior – even if fleeting.

That moment took less than 5 minutes but it changed me. The feelings of regret, sadness, only feeling lucky…gone. I KNOW that in each of my birth experiences I had a warrior moment. I accept that I am human who makes mistakes, takes my body for granted and can have unspoken expectations of others that can lead to disappointment…I am human. I am a courageous human who believed in her body, who did most of the right things and needed all of my experiences to make me a loving, caring and understanding doula."

http://naturalmomlovesprada.com/?p=620


I loved this experience of this mom.  In labor, there are many times when we feel fearful or that we did something wrong.  There are times when we feel we caved, or behaved badly.  Questions often filter through women's minds, "Was I too noisy", "Why did I say I would do that", "if only I had done this".  Often times we look back and think of everything we wish we did or could have done.   


I would love for every women to think of one moment in her birth where she felt she did something right.  It may have been a certain position you decided to choose.  It may have been a moment when you understood what it was you needed to do.  It may have been saying no to an intervention.  It may have been saying yes when you had originally intended not to have anything.  What ever it is, I think it's important that we find these moments these are "our" moments.  These are the moments that help us understand who we are and who we can become.

Happy Traumatic birth story?!:)

I'm not sure how to describe this birth story I found, but I loved it and it was written in such an easy to read manor...it makes the experience seem funny, hard, and worth, yet it could be a very traumatic experience also.   The way this author tells it, though, it doesn't see like it is...anyways  enough of me..here's the story...

Here’s the down low on my experience.

1. Water breaks. On the couch. Which reminds me…

ONE COUCH FOR SALE…CHEAP.

2. I think that heading to the Farmer’s Market for a few last minute items=a good idea.

3. Water REALLY breaks at Farmer’s Market. Which reminds me…

ONE PAIR OF NAVY BLUE TRACK PANTS FOR SALE…REALLY CHEAP.

4. Then nothing much for four or five hours and then some huge* contractions for the next four or five hours.

A note on contractions: Holy $#(@! What the &*@#?? Seriously? &*(#^$(@#Q@#@(%!!@&$)(#%. Ok. I’m ok.

5. Enter midwife.

M: Your cervix is at a “1″.

K: Ha ha. You mean like it’s Number One?

M: No. Like 1 cm. As in, you still have 9 more to go.

K: (See note on contractions.)

6. Three hours later, I’m ready to go. That’s right. One to Ten in three hours.  I’m like, in the 99th percentile for cervix opening.

7. Push. Push. Push. (See note on contractions.)

8. Done, awesome. Lovely, perfect, most handsome boy Finn Vincent slides out at 6:55 AM, April 14th.

Stats: 7 lbs. 7 oz. 19.5 inches long. It’s the most awesomest thing I have ever done. And I’ve been to a lot of neat places, and done many awesome things. Still, it’s the Most Awesome. He is, evidently NOT in the 90-something percentile for size, but he is in the 100th percentile of being mine.

Ok, so here’s where it gets a little dicey.

9. An hour later a Freak Occurrence: I develop a hematoma (I was in the 99th percentile of hematoma size, which is two grapefruits!) because I tore an artery in the inter-pelvic space between the birth canal and my hip. Weird, right? After receiving excellent care from my home birthing team who is puzzled by my blood loss (hematoma burst) yet Perfect Blood Pressure (seriously, I had lost more than a liter of blood at still had 120/70 blood pressure…let’s hear it for health!) I was transported to the hospital. Had two surgeries, one blood transfusion, and I’m feeling SO much better now!

A lil’ note on me: I decided when I woke up in recovery, that I would NOT view my situation as anything less than as it needed to be. While in a hazy fog I decided that I would be thankful in that moment for being flat on my back — a sensation I had come to miss while prego. Also, my husband and baby were waiting for me in my room, where the hospital let them move in and stay with me. My also super-friend-lactation expert met me 5 minutes after recovery, where she had the babe latched on in less than a few minutes. He’s in the 99th percentile of eating. Come to think of it, so am I.

Another side note: I think breastfeeding is awesome. I’m playing will all the positions and all the methods used by Hunter-Gathering populations (where they nurse for 3-5 minutes every 15-20 minutes) as well as the developed nations’ methods of feeding for longer, less often. It’s fun.

They said it would be 5-7 days before I could go home.

I was healing well in 2 days, had refused all morphine and pain meds, so they let me go home on day three. (Let’s hear it for health!)

I couldn’t walk when I came home. Wow. That was a big one for me.

They said it would be 12 weeks before I would be out walking.

I took my first walk (14 minutes) on Day 3 of being home.

I can now walk 40 minutes (slower than normal) and do so every day.

Finn has been cuddled or carried every moment of his life so far. We are practicing with different techniques and apparatuses. (Why is the plural of apparatus apparatuses and not apparati? Language seriously bugs me sometimes.) I am enjoying wearing him and no, we don’t have a stroller, which freaks people out. Which is fair, cuz there are a lot of things people do that freak me out, so we’re even.

Here he is:

Moral of the story: I, despite making excellent beans and cornbread and knowing how to ride a horse, would have been the robust pioneer woman who didn’t make it through child birth. But, thanks to my fast acting team and some great surgeons, I’m typing a blog a week and a half later.

Another moral of the story: Striving for excellent physical health can not only help you have an excellent delivery, but can also significantly impact your recovery should you have an outcome you weren’t (or were) expecting.

Looking forward to getting back to it…with modifications. Wow, it’s a lot of work! Kudos to every mom and dad out there. You are in the 99th percentile of parenting. (What the HECK is all the percentile business about, anyway. If I ever use the word “percentile” seriously, you can pour a glass of water over my head. Geesh.)

*Huge contractions have been modified to “tiny” contractions after finishing the course.

http://www.katysays.com/2011/04/27/a-baby-story-and-giveaway-results/

I've also been looking at this story according to Maslow's theory.  I find it interesting that here was a lady that had a pretty traumatic experience, and yet I felt like she was able to have all her needs met and ended up feeling good about the whole thing.

Giving power back to women

"The state in which I live has a very high infant mortality rate. In late 1994 a major newspaper int eh state ran a series of articles trying to draw public attention to this problem. The articles dealt with a range of issues which the author of the series saw as contributing to infant mortality including teen pregnancy, poverty, lack of prenatal care, and drug use during pregnancy. While the series was running, the newspaper ran an editorial outlining what they thought should be done about infant mortality. The solution was simple: women need to take more responsibility. They need to be more responsible about their sexual behavior. They need to adopt more responsible lifestyles during pregnancy. They need to take better care of their children. Rich refers to this responsibility which women are called upon to accept as "powerless responsibility". Women are held responsible even though they are mothering within a political-economic context which they do not control."

I thought this was an interesting thought. That the way to increase mortality rates, women must take, and be given power over their birthing and mothering experience. So, here's the questions which I'm thinking about:

What are some ways in which our own culture has given and taken away this power?

How have women taken that power to themselves or how they have given it away?