Navigating in the LDS birth culture

This is a question I got from one of my readers.  I thought it would be good to share under my birth culture series because it really is looking out how to deal with a different culture around you.


"It's been tricky though, being LDS and being surrounded by girls in my age group who have 2 or 3 kids already under their belt and all having experienced epidural/pitocin etc... births.  They look at me like I have three heads when I say I'm delivering with a midwife and a doula, even though I'm delivering at the hospital and wanting to do this all non-medicated.  Any advice on navigating the Mormon Mommy Culture when your plan is outside the mainstream?"  This came from an e-mail I got and thought I'd post my response here.  And since I'm trying to be culturally competent.  I would love to hear from women who choose epidurals and feel the same way in their culture.  Also, how can we find common ground...something that unifies us in our birth culture?




That's a very interesting question.  It is really tough feeling alone in your decisions and yet feeling like you are trying to do what's best.  I know when I told my cousin I was going to have a natural birth, she said that was like having your arm cut off:)  I'm sure you've heard those kinds of comments too.  I didn't feel like it was like that at all.


I feel a lot like you in that our bodies were designed to give birth.  Beyond that, I also feel like there is a reason for that design.  It gives me great joy to feel the spirit as I contemplate the grand design of it all and just how much we are loved by our Heavenly Father as women.  While many women of the LDS faith don't feel like they would give birth without an epidural, there is some common ground that we can all find, and I think it helps to find this when discussing it with others.  For instance, most LDS women will use prayer or blessings during their pregnancy and labor.  I have found this amazing to be a part of.  One of my friends (who was not planning on an un-medicated birth), was going very fast and was unable to get the medication she wanted.  Something that helped her through that was a blessing she received from her husband prior to going into labor that told her that she would have the strength that she needed at this time.  There are so many stories like that out there.  I bet if you talked with your friends about it, they would have some also.  If you can find that common ground, then move on to how you feel about your body being designed by God to do this, it might not seem so strange or unnatural.  

One thing I have noticed, is that many lds women will go into labor wanting to at least try and see if they want to go natural.  They go in with much less preparation than it sounds like you have.  They experience labor and the hard work that it is, yet have no knowledge of how to work through it, or even have people around them that help them.  They are stuck in beds, on monitors, not allowed to move, and the only choice they get is whether or not to get an epidural.  Or they really just don't want to be in pain and the positives of getting the epidural outweigh the negatives.  So to them, the epidural is a blessing.  This is how the vast majority of lds women have given birth.  But, there is still a respect for life and our bodies and what they do.  So what you are doing will make your experience vastly different and allow you to use your religion and support in a much different way.  I'm not sure that you could convey this to those who have already gone through the system, but still there is this underlying belief that God will bless us during childbirth.  That's another commonality.

Also, having support from lots of areas is important.  So with that in mind, I have a list of many lds birthing bloggers and would be happy to share it with anyone that wants it.(also feel free to let me know if you want to be on that list:)).

Here's a few birth stories from my blog that are from LDS women:

http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2010/05/update-to-christinas-birth-story.html

http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2009/02/window-to-divine-my-daughters-birth.html

http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2009/11/guest-post-cherylyn-douglasmy-birth.html

On just a superficial level, many women are just not going to get it.  Usually if people look at me like I'm crazy and not much else is said, I just leave it at that.  I have seen and understand how the majority of women give birth and can understand where they are coming from.  I have also seen very difficult and trying births that leave them feeling out of control.  I wouldn't want to give birth that way either.  But, many people are also very interested in how I have done things differently, and those are always kind of fun conversations.  

One group of women that I have found have an interesting perspective are those who are in their 50's.  These women started having children as epidurals were being introduced.  You might strike up a conversation with some of them.  While many of them will fall into the epidurals are a wonderful blessing category, you may be surprised by the amount of women who actually don't get the whole epidural craze.  Another group that has sort of different view points are collage age women who are just started to explore what they think about these topics.  Both of these groups hold interesting opinions and ideas of what childbirth is or should be.  I think you may find it different than those who have already been through our current system.  

The last thing I would suggest is to use this time to learn the birth stories from the women who have come before you.  Women are truly amazing and I really feel like we are surrounded by angels from our own family when we are giving birth.  So while the women around you may not get it, I believe that there are those around us who have passed on, who know and understand who you are and want to help you during this time.  So you are not really alone in this.  This is not doctrine, but just my own personal thoughts and impressions.   So take that for what it's worth:) 

LDS view of the body-why that makes a difference

Thus far in this study of LDS birth culture and choices I have felt like many of the prevalent ideas just don't hold sway. (See my other posts on LDS birth culture). The ideas of Eve's curse and patriarchy just doesn't seem to fit in with what I've seen. So I've begun asking myself..."just how does the LDS culture play a role in the birth choices?". Mostly I've thought that it doesn't really. It appears that mostly the dominate culture plays a role. One thing I have seen is the desire to treat our bodies well and also the desire for birth to be a spiritual experience.

This stems from the teaching that our bodies our a gift and a blessing and should be treated as such. This is a quote from Joseph Fielding Smith (a previous prophet and president of the LDS church) concerning our bodies:

“We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man, and when cast out by the Savior he asked to go into a herd of swine, showing that he would prefer a swine’s body to having none.

“All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him. The moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 181)

For a great understanding of this idea check out this article.

An oft quoted scripture also explains this idea...

“Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

“For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20.

The body is truly though of as a temple in LDS doctrine and should be treated as such.

Now how is this idea reflected in LDS birth choices. First off many LDS women I have talked to want to take care of their bodies. The choice not to use drugs in childbirth is sometimes reflected in this. If a drug is used many will ask that it be as little as possible. Since the use of drugs is so common and advocated in many ways by the medical establishment many women do not view this as a problem though. Controlled use of drugs is deemed acceptable by many. What appears to make more of a difference is whether or not their choices will enhance the spirituality of the experience.

From talking with women of the LDS faith there is an idea that birth can and should be spiritual. Women who have chosen to have an epidural have done so because they have felt that the intensity of the contractions where too much. This caused them to loose focus on the spirituality of the event. On the other hand the choice not to use medication is made for the same reasons.

These are all just my own observations but I would love to see studies done. Maybe someday I'll try getting into the research field:)

Mormons-patriarchy and childbirth

First off I'm not going to go into depth about men and the priesthood but I will post some links for those who are interested. Mostly I want to explore how the doctrine of the priesthood and the role of women in the LDS church might effect their childbirth choices.

So for those who are interested here's a few links that discuss the role of men and the priesthood.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2005/10/priesthood-authority-in-the-family-and-the-church?lang=eng

http://lds.org/ensign/1971/02/interdependence-a-family-and-church-goal?lang=eng

http://mormon.org/faq/#Priesthood|question=/faq/women-in-the-church/

http://lds.org/general-conference/1977/10/father-your-role-your-responsibility?lang=eng

Just to get an idea of what a patriarchy is and how that fits in with LDS doctrine I found this from wikipedia:

"Patriarchy is a social system in which the role of the male as the primary authority figure is central to social organization, and where fathers hold authority over women, children, and property. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege, and is dependent on female subordination. Historically, the principle of patriarchy has been central to the social, legal, political, and economic organization of Hebrew, Greek, Roman, Indian, and Chinese cultures, and has had a deep influence on modern civilization.^[1]

Most forms of feminism characterize patriarchy as an unjust social system that is oppressive to women. In feminist theory the concept of patriarchy often includes all the social mechanisms that reproduce and exert male dominance over women.

Patriarchy is a multidimensional condition of power/status. Whyte's 1978 comprehensive study examined 52 indicators of patriarchy, to which corresponded 10 relatively independent dimensions. The ten dimensions are:^[2][3]

• lack of property control by women
• lack of power of women in kinship contexts
• low value placed on the lives of women
• low value placed on the labor of women
• lack of domestic authority of women
• absence of ritualized female solidarity
• absence of control over women's marital and sexual lives
• absence of ritualized fear of women
• lack of male-female joint participation in warfare, work, and community decision making
• lack of women's indirect influence on decision making

I haven's seen a lot of these ideas brought forth in LDS doctrine but there is an idea that men and women have different roles. This describes it well:

"By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."

http://lds.org/library/display/0,4945,161-1-11-1,FF.html

What I have found in the Mormon doctrine is the idea that men and women hold different roles but are considered equal in importance. In speaking to men in the church Elder L. Tom Perry said this:

"Third, it is a twenty-four-hour-a-day job to show appreciation and consideration for her. The Lord has warned you in the scriptures by saying:UAdd a Note

“We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. …

“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by longsuffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.” (D&C 121:39, 41.)

She is not your chattel. She does not have to follow you in unrighteousness. She is your wife, your companion, your best friend, your full partner. The Lord has blessed her with great potential, talent, and ability. She, too, must be given the opportunity for self-expression and development. Her happiness should be your greatest concern. Learn how to magnify both your roles in order that the husband and wife can be found having fulfilling and happy lives together."http://lds.org/general-conference/1977/10/father-your-role-your-responsibility?lang=eng

"Men and women are expected to be equal partners in the home. Although men preside in the home, as they hold the priesthood and follow a patriarchal order, men are not to excercise any form of coercion. Physical or emotional abuse can result in excommunication. Former Prophet Gordon B. Hinckley stated, “In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.” President Spencer W. Kimball said, “We have heard of men who have said to their wives, ‘I hold the priesthood and you’ve got to do what I say.’ ” He decisively rejected that abuse of priesthood authority in a marriage, declaring that such a man “should not be honored in his priesthood.” He also said, “When we speak of marriage as a partnership, let us speak of marriage as a full partnership. We do not want our LDS women to be silent partners or limited partners in that eternal assignment! Please be a contributing and full partner” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 315, 316)."

Ok so that established how does this effect women's childbirth choices. It seems apparent to me that the LDS church encourages women to speak up and talk about what she wants(see above). I think some men among all cultures are more domineering and that goes for men in the LDS culture. Many times men have a huge influence on the choices women make but I don't know to what extent that is due to the religious practices of the LDS culture. That is something that would have to be seriously researched. There are some ways that I have seen the priesthood and men play a role in choices though.

I think the most common way I see is through priesthood blessings. These are blessings given by priesthood holders that give counsel and guidance to those who ask. I have heard numerous accounts of women making choices based off of these blessings. Most of them have to do with comfort and finding peace. Some have to do with specific medical decisions. For instance if a woman is wondering if she should go to the hospital because she is worried about her baby. Many women are very insistent that if they receive certain guidance in a blessing that that is what should happen. These decisions range from the decision not to be induced to the decision that a c-section is what is needed. It has been my observation that most women derive comfort from this rather than feeling compelled to obey.

Another way that I have seen the influence of the role of the priesthood and male authority is when an obstetrician is also a woman's bishop. The role of a bishop is as a leader and guide for those in their congregation. Because they are seen as being chosen by God to lead there is a great deal of trust placed in them. I have heard women say they choose them as their obstetricians because of the trust they have in them. While I don't know how this has influenced women's decisions I would imagine that it would have a huge impact on their ability to question them when it comes to medical decisions.

In all reality I see the role of the medical doctor playing more of an impact on the decision of Mormon women than the concept of patriarchy.

Mormons-Eve-and childbirth

I just read an old blog post that was discussing why Mormon women might prefer natural childbirth over a more medicalized view. It was over a year ago so I didn't leave a comment but decided to blog about it here and place it under my LDS birth culture series. While I have never done any research on this I have talked to numerous LDS women about their birth choices and this post will reflect those discussions as well as my own believes.

There are two things that I hear other women bring up when they talk about LDS birth culture...eve's curse and the dominate male hierarchy. I am going to discuss both of these from what LDS women are taught now and my own experiences as well as experiences of other women that I have discussed this with. While both of these are brought up as reasons for Mormon women's childbirth choices it has been my experience that most Mormon women base their choices off of the prevalent American culture more than their religion.

Another thing I have seen is that those who conscientiously make their choices(whether for a more medicalized birth or not) do so on the assumption that life is sacred-that their bodies are sacred-and that the process of birth and motherhood should be sacred. From what I have seen these assumptions form more a part of their choices than eve's curse or a male hierarchy. That said I don't pretend to speak for all LDS women. This blog is just based off of my own observations and beliefs.

A prevailing thought hundreds of years ago among the Christian world is that the pain of childbirth was given to women as a curse for disobedience and therefore she should suffer pain. In fact there was a lot of debate about whether women should be offered medication during birth because of this. As I was looking through talks and scriptures I couldn't find a specific doctrine that said women must experience pain during childbirth. Of course there is the scripture in Genesis that talks about how Eve will bear children in sorrow and Adam would have to work by the sweat of his brow (See Genesis 3). But there is nothing that says that those pains and sorrows should not be alleviated. They are more a consequence of mortality. What is notable about how the Mormon religion teaches the Fall is that it not seen as something bad. It was seen as something necessary and ultimately good. Therefore what Eve did was good and she is never berated in the LDS religion for making the choice to partake of the fruit and enter mortality. (For a good article on how Mormons view the Fall go here).

Dallin H. Oaks makes this statement in regards to how Mormons view Eve and her role in mortality:

"It was Eve who first transgressed the limits of Eden in order to initiate the conditions of mortality. Her act, whatever its nature, was formally a transgression but eternally a glorious necessity to open the doorway toward eternal life. Adam showed his wisdom by doing the same. And thus Eve and “Adam fell that men might be” (2 Ne. 2:25). UAdd a Note

Some Christians condemn Eve for her act, concluding that she and her daughters are somehow flawed by it. Not the Latter-day Saints! Informed by revelation, we celebrate Eve’s act and honor her wisdom and courage in the great episode called the Fall (see Bruce R. McConkie, “Eve and the Fall,”Woman, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1979, pp. 67–68). Joseph Smith taught that it was not a “sin,” because God had decreed it (see The Words of Joseph Smith, ed. Andrew F. Ehat and Lyndon W. Cook, Provo, Utah: Religious Studies Center, Brigham Young University, 1980, p. 63). Brigham Young declared, “We should never blame Mother Eve, not the least” (inJournal of Discourses, 13:145). Elder Joseph Fielding Smith said: “I never speak of the part Eve took in this fall as a sin, nor do I accuse Adam of a sin. … This was a transgression of the law, but not a sin … for it was something that Adam and Eve had to do!” (Joseph Fielding Smith,Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols., Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1954–56, 1:114–15).

The question then is...if what eve did brought about mortality and pain in childbirth...then should women be made to suffer in childbirth? Or is it ok to us our knowledge and understanding to help women during birth?

In my own view all pains and trials are a consequence of the fall. Therefore if we believe that the pain of childbirth should not be alleviated then the pain of any sickness should not be alleviated. That said some LDS women may hold to the belief that women are supposed to suffer during childbirth and that we shouldn't try and alleviate their discomforts. It's not something that I have ever heard anyone tell me myself though. It's certainly not something I believe. It seems to me that it's a matter of interpretation.

Here's a few threads that have discussed this concept. It kind of gives an idea of what others of the LDS faith belief in regards to Eve and childbirth. These are not doctrinal(meaning they are not taught as scripture) and are just various members thoughts/ideas.

http://www.lds.net/forums/lds-gospel-discussion/14286-eves-sin-upon-all-women.html

http://www.the-exponent.com/2008/10/09/the-curse-of-eve/

http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=3016

http://womeninthescriptures.blogspot.com/2009/10/eves-curse.html

And here is an interesting thought I found from this blog:

"Did God curse Eve? We know that the ground was cursed for the sake of Adam and Eve—is this a cursing of Adam and Eve? In the teachings of the LDS Church, we do not believe that that was a curse meant to punish them—it was a curse meant to start that law of opposites that undergirds agency: virtue and vice, pleasure and pain, light and darkness, truth and lies (2 Ne 2:11-13). Eve was told she would labor in childbirth—was this a cursing of Eve? Again, from the LDS perspective, absolutely not. To have children, to be able to fully give the gift of Eve, is one of the most soul-satisfying parts of a woman’s life that she will either experience here or in the hereafter if circumstances have prohibited it here."

My own thoughts on Eve's curse...I don't believe it was a curse. It was a condition of mortality that helps us learn and grow. I absolutely believe that nurturing life and giving birth has stretched me to be a much better person and mother. I believe that my natural births have done the same. But I also acknowledge that those who have medicated births have also grown from the process. I find no problem with helping women achieve a more satisfying birth-whether by medication or other means of relieving pain. I actually think that helping to do so is a part of the whole equation.

I'll post in my next blog about patriarchy(man I'm getting controversial:)) and the role that might or might not play in how Mormon women view birth.

My personal believes

I was asked to think about some questions in preparation for the panel on Thurs., so I thought I'd write them out here. Just to warn you, this panel is pro-natural (but without the intent to try and change people's minds). The moderator explained it this way: "I am more interested in how and why our opinions about natural childbirth are an extension of or divergence from a LDS communal background". So these questions are obviously pro-natural, but with the intent of exploring our own cultural background and how that has applied to our own pro-natural philosophy. I will say up front that, while I feel like natural birth is the better way, I give credence to others views, opinions, and believes and in no way feel like I should enforce my own ideas on others or feel like I am better than anyone else out there(though, I would love for all moms to find the joy and fulfillment in birth and motherhood that I have found, and in some ways feel that birthing naturally has helped me personally find that). I am interested in others comments that differ from mine as long as they are respectful. OK that said...here are the questions and my thoughts and ideas.

1. Do you think there is a difference between the birthing philosophies/expectations of LDS and non-LDS women? Or do you think LDS women simply reflect the national and cultural norms of the United States? (Please bring statistics to support your views if you have access to them.)

It's really hard to answer this one, as not much research has been done. As was seen by my previous post http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2009/07/epidural-stats_23.html, the research out there is not very well done or isn't done at all. All I can say about this is based on my own experience. Even that just reflects how things are here in UT. So really, my experience does not say much about the LDS population as a whole. With that in mind, here is what I think.

I don't feel like the culture of the LDS reflects upon their birthing choices. I think, for the most part, that they probably follow the main culture in this respect. I do think how they interpret their birth choices and subsequent births, though, shows a reflection of our culture. Many women pray, are given blessings, look for guidance from God, and assume that whatever the outcome is, it is God's will. The LDS religion seems to play the comforting part rather than dictating their choices.

One that I've thought more on recently is being non-judgmental. We do that too much in birth.

For me, my religion played more of a role afterwards. I didn't really use it to help me through labor, (though looking back now, I wish I had), but rather I feel like I have gained a greater understanding of my religion through birth. These are things that I feel are very sacred to me and have come to mean a lot. Most of the things I have learned have come, not during labor, but looking back and contemplating it. This is perhaps one of the greatest gifts I feel I have been given. I accredit this to my religious culture as well as the birthing culture I have come to embrace.

2. What specific doctrines in the LDS church support or contradict your birthing philosophy? Is it surprising to you that more LDS women are not interested in researching /implementing natural childbirth as an extension of their LDS beliefs?

This scripture has become the backbone for how I view birth. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”. (2 Tim. 1:6–7.) http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2008/11/spirit-of-power-love-and-sound-mind.html

When it comes to making choices, God has given us power(the priesthood, prayer, faith etc.), love, and the ability to think and reason. Used together, I feel like we are better able to navigate birth and the beginning of motherhood. I really feel like fear should not be the guiding factor. I've talked a lot about this on my blog before. Here is a link to one entry that specifically mentions this scripture: http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2008/11/spirit-of-power-love-and-sound-mind.html

I think one of the doctrines that has begun to impress me of late, is that of the importance of the family. The family is central to God's plan. Believing this, I feel like how our family begins is of up most importance. Not only that, but labor and birth are a great example how women and men work together to help support and sustain each other. This can be wonderful to watch and be a part of as families begin their lives together. I blogged about that here: http://thebeginningofmotherhood.blogspot.com/2008/11/she-was-becoming.html

Our bodies are sacred and we are children of God. This idea influences greatly how I perceive my own role in giving birth, but also the role of other women that I work with. I believe all women deserve more respect, gratitude, and appreciation for giving of themselves to bring children to this earth. I think this is often overlooked and forgotten by those working in labor and delivery. Yes, the life and safety of the mom and baby is our guiding factor, but just as important is the realization that what these women are doing is sacred. That bringing forth that life is sacred, and in my opinion we are on sacred ground when we are with them to help, not only because of them, but because of what they are doing.

These are things that I think guide my birthing philosophy, but birth itself has led me to understand important doctrine. These include: the atonement, the value of opposition, a greater understanding of joy, the joy that comes to us at the end of this life, how life may be during the second coming (it is often compared to labor) as well as after the second coming, how to love others, how to overcome trials, the relationships between man and wife, the power of creation, our love of God, the importance of each soul, the connection that can and should exist among people, the value in motherhood and families, forgiveness, what it feels like to be in the depth of sorrow and return again, how to persevere, the value of hard work, and how to work together with someone else to bring about a common good. (Just as a side note, I definitely feel that these things can be gleaned in other areas of life and are not exclusive to birth. These are just things that I learned from birth itself and value).

I think women do research natural childbirth, but then decide they don't want to do it. I think this has more to do with our mainstream birthing culture than our own religious culture. Our modern medical culture views pain and the pain of childbirth as something to run away from. Now I know that will make most people think, "well of course", but we only think that way because it is our culture. There is a great article about how we become oblivious to our own culture and how it affects us when we live in it, yet can appear very strange and different to others. You can find it at: https://www.msu.edu/~jdowell/miner.html

I'm not sure how many women actually view this as something that their religion should play a part or if doing in natural should be an extension of their religion. I would hesitate to put it in those words. After all, I don't think that after this life it's going to matter how we give birth. In a different mindset, though, I do think it matters what we make of challenges, difficulties, and experiences. In that regards, I would think more women should take their childbirth choices more seriously. As LDS women we regard life as sacred, we regard our bodies as sacred, we understand that we are given the opportunity to make choices, we understand that we are able to learn much from the choices we make, we also understand that we can receive guidance. It seems to me that if that's a given, as LDS women we can and should regard our birth choices as something to be taken seriously. (As well as many other choices we make in life).

4. What specific cultural attitudes in the LDS church support or contradict your birthing philosophy? Is it surprising to you that more LDS women are not interesting in researching /implementing natural childbirth as an extension of their LDS cultural upbringing?

see above

5. I have often felt that motherhood is the rite of passage into legitimacy within the LDS community (versus a mission for the men or even receiving temple endowments). Do you agree? If so, how does our choice of a natural or medicated birth define our "successful" acceptance into the adult community?

I think motherhood is sort of viewed this way, but I'm not sure it should be. I also don't feel like how you give birth should make you acceptable or not. In fact, I like to steer away from discussions like this because it seems very superficial. How you give birth should not decide how you are viewed in a culture. This does happen in all cultures, but really should not be the focus of why we give birth the way we do.

6. Do the majority of LDS women feel empowered by their birth experiences? Why or why not?

I think to some extent most do. Though, I can think of numerous times when I see lots of fear, failure, and hopelessness reflected in mother's eyes. And this is with all kinds of births. I do see the most energy and light(sorry, I don't know how else to describe it) with good natural births. But there are natural births were the above mentioned negative emotions are seen also. Most studies will say that a positive birth experience is determined by how in control a woman feels. I tend to agree with this. The thing that disturbs me the most are when women feel these negative emotions and are are not able to work through them.

How to help with that has been my challenge and personal desire. All I can say now is that it depends on their feelings of control. How to give that to every mom while still maintaining safety is the challenge. I would love to hear any thoughts or ideas on this one.

7. What suggestions do you have to bring the discussion of natural childbirth into more of a focus within the LDS community?

I think we do need to do this, but I'm a birth junky:) I do think it would be useful, though, for moms to hear different perspectives from people who have done birth differently and why. In wards that have a younger population it might be useful to do an activity around this. Part of the problem around these issues, though, is the amount of tension and judgment that goes on. That I think would be more of an issue. They used to have classes in RS that was taught during their block of time that involved taking care of yourself while pregnant. Something like that might not be a bad idea depending on the population.

8. Other personal theology, pet peeves or SOLUTIONS?

We need to encourage women to use what we are given in our religion to help them through birth. I also really believe that having other woman present who are willing to help, as well as a spouse who is supportive there, helps a lot. I had one woman tell me that what helped her through her unwanted natural labor, was a blessing her husband had given her just a few days before. I think we could be turning to the Lord more often when making birth decisions as well as asking for his help and guidance. We have so much that we can utilize to help women.

I think having another woman there that we can connect with helps also because as women, we like the presence of other women(usually:)). In fact, I remember reading an interesting study about how women respond to stress (ie labor:)). They tend to gather around each other, rather than the flight-and-fight response we usually hear about. You can find this study here; http://www.apa.org/monitor/julaug00/stress.html

I also think we need to share more positive stories of labor and birth (and motherhood for that matter). So often we like to tell our horror stories, but I'm not so sure it's very helpful in preparing new moms. Fear does nothing for helping us grow. If there are bad things that happen, we need to share how we overcame them.

My only real pet peeve is the fighting that takes place among the various groups who choose differently. It is not productive.

I would love to hear anyone elses responses to these questions also, no matter if your for natural birth or not. I think it would be interesting to see how any of our decions in birth are a reflection of the LDS culture. So feel free to share.