With all of my labors, I have experienced some point where I have said "I can't do this any more".  I am quite literally completely exhausted both physically and emotionally.  But at that point there is nothing to do but go on.  I can not run away or reverse what has happened.  My body is spent and yet I 'm still moving on.
As I now sit here thinking about this, other scenes flash through my mind.  Sleepless nights, fights and tears, frustrations, and worries. At many other points in my life, I have reached the same crossroads.  Like standing on a railroad track with the train coming on life is rushing, rushing ever pressing forward.  And I feel the same fear..."I can't do this any more". 
But...I do.  Amazingly enough, I do.  It is hard.  It  is scary.  If seems unfair.  But at the end, there is life.
A labor and delivery nurse, doula, and mother muses about childbirth choices.
Friday, November 23, 2007
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