Peace on earth begins at birth

"At Jesus' birth there was a midwife; of this, I'm very sure,
A tired woman left her bed to help His mother, so young, so poor.
The midwife held the mother's hand, gave quiet words of praise,
Used her hands, her heart, her skills - all her practiced ways.

The midwife shared the mother's joy in the miracle she bore,
Helped her bathe Him, feed Him, care for Him, taught her mother lore.
She helped her with the swaddling clothes and put Him in the manger,
Helped her rest, regain her strength - but never as a stranger.

The Bible does not tell of this, as we are all aware.
It was understood in that day and time a woman would be there .
A dedicated person always responsive to the need...
No matter the hour, the mother's status - to care, her creed.

Jesus had a midwife, a woman helped His mother...
His birth an event so human and yet divinely other.
The midwife chose to answer the call, helping other women,
Attending at births - her vocation, her place in God's dominion"

The title of this post was from the birth center I had two of my children in, in Tucson, AZ. I thought it was appropriate for this time of year. The poem, I got from someone on Facebook. Many gifts were given that night to the Christ child, including those not mentioned much. We don't know if there was another woman there to attend to Mary(I would assume there was, but I'm not a history major), but both Mary and Joseph gave of themselves on this night. And in my personal belief, Christ continues to give to and love all of us.

Here is a neat link I found about Jewish midwifes in the Bible. http://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/461823/jewish/Midwives.htm

I wish all a Merry Christmas, peaceful and loving births, and a hope that we all can share love which we receive at birth with others around us through our lives....as Christ has and does.

Making new tradtions

After writing the last post, I began to mourn our own loss of tradition and history in childbirth, so I came up with what I would like to see happen to include this in our lives today:)

Our baby shower: today we have baby showers, but I would love to see something more than just the passing out of gifts and little games played. This should be a time to honor and help lift up the mom to be, and I think it should be done with each child. Women invited would share positive birth stores. Stories from the new mothers ancestry could also be told. These stories should include stories of strength and courage, not just in birth, but throughout life. Friends and family could then also share examples of how the new mother herself has shown courage and strength. A quilt could be tied that has scrap pieces of cloth that each woman present brings. This quilt can then be brought with the new mom to the hospital (or where ever she is giving birth) and used as a reminder that, while not everyone is there, there are many women who love and support her.

At the beginning of labor, or when ever those darn braxtin hicks contractions start coming, a new mom will pull out a piece of paper and write a note to her unborn child about her love and joy she has for this child. This can be a continued project until labor gets so intense that she can no longer concentrate, or (if she has an epidural) she is ten centimeters dilated and is ready to push.

The father can help the new mom prepare by learning how to focus on her needs without her having to tell him. This may get a chuckle:), but that is exactly what they are going to need to do during labor. Both can use the few months before labor to spend extra time with each other and focusing on the fact that, together, they are going to bring a child into this world. Go on extra dates. Talk about future plans, expectations, desires for this child.

After birth, I really feel that the new mother should have at least a few days completely alone with her new baby once she is at home.

I need to come up with some ways that hospital staff can help support and strengthen tradition in birth. Maybe I'll post on that later. But for now, I think it would be neat if we could find some way to bring back birthing traditions...not just because it's neat, but as a way to strengthen and encourage the new mom in the great work that she is about to do as a mother. I would love to hear anyone else's ideas on this if you would care to post:)

Birth Stories

As part of these birthing classes I am putting together, I want to have a day set aside to honor the woman who is becoming a mother. During this class I would love to be able to share positive birth stories that help uplift and inspire. As such, I would love if anyone would like to contribute to this. I have a few questions that I would like for anyone to answer. They are questions that are posed by Pan England in Birthing From Within.

1. What helped you most when you gave birth?

2. What was your spiritual experience of giving birth?

3. Is there anything you would do differently?

4. What do you wish you had known before hand?

5. If you could do it over again, what do you wish you could do the same?

You could answer one of these or all.

Experiencing the divine

"Just then a contraction hits Katey, and like a well-oiled machine her sisters jump into action. They are all pushing on her body at different strategic points, and as Katey growls and mumbles and digs down into her gut to survive the pain, everyone else is calling out from different corners of the room, 'You're doing it!' or 'That's awesome!' or 'Keep it up!' The cheering and pushing and growling continue for what seems like a couple of minutes, what must have seemed like eternity for Katey, and when it's apparent that the contraction has ended, the room immediately sinks right back into silence. No one talks. Every single person is focused on Katey's next move.

"This goes on for another hour and a half, because even though she is dilated to a nine a lip has formed at the cervix and is refusing to budge. Katey is miserable, her hair is completely soaked with sweat, and you can hear that her vocal chords are shredded from all the groaning. At one point during a contraction she yells, 'Please! PLEASE! JUST HELP ME!' And I want to cry, her mother is bawling, and everyone else is cheering, 'You can do this! YOU'RE DOING THIS! HANG IN THERE!'

"The rest of this story goes like many other birthing stories, because when it was time to push she pushed like a champion, and I happened to be one of the lucky ones in the room to have a view of the baby as she came out, first her head and then her right arm came flying out, like, 'Ta da! Here I am!' And then everyone in the room started crying. They named her Lily Blanche.

"But what I guess makes this story quite different than any other birth I've personally attended or seen is the reverence with which every single person in that room treated the experience. It was like church in there, and for the hour and a half that I witnessed it, I just couldn't believe it. It almost didn't seem real. And as much as it was Katey's experience and everything that she had hoped it would be, it's what she gave to the rest of us that I won't ever forget. Because we all had to come together, all four hundred and eighty of us, for her. We all gained something incredible from forming that community around her.

"And the courage that she showed, the endurance, the sheer power of getting through contraction after contraction, I was just so inspired, so touched to be so close to something so primal and raw and vulnerable as she was during those hours, so thankful that she let me be a part of it. And I knew I would never be the same person after having witnessed it."*

This made me cry:) To me the pain, the courage, the strength, the weakness, the joy, the connection, the divine....this is what birth is about. And I feel like somewhere we've lost that....somehow. Or perhaps we've never found it....perhaps it's like many things in life, we don't know what we have until it is missing.

I don't care, really, what choices we make in birth except for the fact that we need to make the choice to experience the Divine. If we're not doing that, then we've missed out.

*http://www.dooce.com/2009/07/27/labor-story-part-two/#comments-start

Celebration of Life

I walked outside early last week and low and behold I saw my daffodil's poking their leafs up through snow and as funny as it may sound that made me so happy. I ran inside and grabbed my two little boys and took them outside to look at those tiny shoots. I'm sure they thought I was crazy, and since it was so cold they just wanted to go back inside. I then immediately called my husband at work and told him. I was that excited.

Here's why: It has been a cold winter, with snow on the ground for a good part of it. My beautiful flowers look dead. My trumpet vine is bare and is seemingly gone. The trees are barren. But here, underneath the earth life is starting to work its wonder once more. New buds are breaking forth even in the still cold earth. And soon the daffidils and the crocus' will bloom. Then the lilacs and lilies and roses. They all break forth in bloom. Winter does not last forever.

So what does this have to do with being a mother? Now is the time to celebrate. Our lives, our children's lives, the miracle of bringing forth life. Life can be hard, and cold and barren at times, but spring reminds me that it is not always so and that life will prevail. It is a time to celebrate life.