Uses for a warm compress during birth

Warm compresses are something that many midwives use, and I feel like they have have a place in the care of women in labor and birth.  From my own experience having used warm compresses during the second stage of labor, it definately helps to decrease the pain felt while pushing.  Below, I've included some other ways to use this cheap and easy way of working through labor pains.

Heat is a good way to help with general aches and pains during pregnancy, labor and birth.  Many times, joints and muscles get tired and sore.  A heat pack is a good way to help relieve this pain.  You can place them on the back for back labor, as well as the abdomen and groin area.  This could help relieve some of the tension felt in these areas during labor, helping to relax and reduce pain.

There is some anecdotal evidence that heat packs may help speed up early labor.  It at least may help make it more comfortable.

Placing a heating pad or a warm blanket with the mom could also help relieve chills.  This would be useful after a c-section when the temperature of a mom is significantly decreased.  A warm blanket may also be useful for general relaxing purposes when the mom is tired or needing more rest.

Because heat also helps to increase connective tissue extensibility, this may be useful to help the baby move down the birth canal and through the pelvis.

Another great way to use warm compresses may is during the second stage of labor to help reduce the pain during crowning and in the following days.  It also may help to prevent anal tearing and urinary incontinence.

Heat packs also help with pain for the incision after a c-section.  This will also help promote healing to the area.  If you are using a heat pack for this reason, use ice for the first 24 hours, then switch over to heat.

In order to keep a heat pack in place, it can be placed in stretchy underwear or held in place by another person.  Just take care that it is not too hot so that it won't burn or get too uncomfortable.  Also make sure that there is a few layers of cloth between the heat pack and the mom's skin.
It may also be useful to use for the afterpains felt after birth.

Reasons that Heat May Help

It provides a competing sensation that helps to reduce the amount of pain felt.  This is described as the gateway theory of pain.

It provides a source of distraction so that the mom has something else to focus one besides the labor pains.

It helps relax and loosen tight muscles that helps reduce pain due to tight muscles or not allowing the uterus to relax and do it's job.  Check out my post on the fear-tension cycle for more info on this.

It promotes healing of any tissue that has been damaged and may reduce the amount of time it takes to heal.


http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2430322/
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/494120_12

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20536800
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18031878

Pain in birth

There is a quote that is often given by natural childbirth advocates. It was from a woman who was offered pain medication back in the early 1900's and refused. When asked why she refused she said "It didn't hurt. It wasn't supposed to was it Doctor?"

As I have read many natural childbirth books and views on how to work through labor there is sometimes this idea that childbirth is not supposed to hurt. I find it interesting as I have watched many women who have given birth naturally and spoken with many others. I've asked myself that same question without really coming to an answer except that I think it is really different for every woman.

I will say one thing though...I rarely see a natural childbirth how they depict it in the movies. With the woman screaming and thrashing. The women that I see who have the hardest times are usually the ones that don't want to be in pain in the first place or who have become so overwhelmed by the process that they no longer feel in control. But even these women are not quite so dramatic as the movies:)

Most natural births I've seen are a combination of the seeming appearance of no pain and a feeling of being out of control. In my own births I have felt an excruciating pain and just a feeling of exhaustion but no pain. Just from my own labors I have come to belief that it is possible to appreciate the pain. Even with my first and hardest one I absolutely feel like that experience was life changing and I wouldn't have done it differently.

From what I've seen the most pain comes when we feel out of control and when we are exhausted and tired or afraid. For these reasons I really to think that if we can work on providing care in these areas for women we can do a lot to help women birth without medical means of pain control. These are hard things to work on. And in many cases depends on where a woman is at physically and psychologically in her own life but we could do better.

I think it is also important to realize that you may still experience some sort of pain. Even if you follow the book or the rules perfectly. But that doesn't mean that that pain isn't meaningless. It also doesn't mean that you can't do it. Any woman can birth naturally it's a matter of if she really wants to...that to me is more of the question.

Fear tension cycle

I've just put together a few quotes I've found about the effects of fear/tension/pain. Some of these quotes were written for those experiencing back pain or chronic pain, but I feel they can apply to labor pain as well. I'm going to add my own experiences in another post.

"One of the first things that happens to all of us when we’re under stress is that we tense up—preparing to take action as part of the ancient fight-or-flight pathway in our body. When we can’t run or express our distress, and that distress is chronic, we tense even further. Interestingly, the words for emotional tension and muscle tension are the same. We feel tense emotionally and our muscles also tense up. And this is painful. Remember the last time you had a muscle cramp? You can’t move or think of anything else until that muscle relaxes. All manner of ordinary circumstances, such as fear of loneliness, financial failure, or having to deal with a difficult co-worker, child, or spouse can all result in muscle tension that we’re not even aware of. It’s not surprising that exactly the same class of drugs, the benzodiazepines (such as Valium and Ativan), can relax both muscles and anxiety. But these drugs don’t solve the problem; they merely mask it, and worse yet, they are highly addictive.

Chronic back pain results from stressful thoughts or emotions that aren’t released fully but instead are held in the form of chronic muscle tension. If you then believe that your back is damaged, you may begin to brace yourself, or begin assuming positions to guard against potential damage. This behavior and the beliefs that fuel it then trap you in a vicious cycle of pain and fear. The longer this goes on, the more it leads to psychological conditioning that deceives you into fearing physical activity. It has been found that fear of pain, especially in back pain sufferers, plays a very important role in the perception of pain. Frustration, anger, and depression further deepen the cycle."

http://www.drnorthrup.com/womenshealth/healthcenter/topic_details.php?topic_id=58

"Injury and chronic pain contribute to muscle tension because muscles automatically contract around a painful site to support and protect the area.

Furthermore, if you adopt a guarded position to help protect yourself from pain, this will lead to further muscle contractions. A guarded position might mean walking with a limp or holding your neck in an awkward position. In this way, the muscle tension arises from a painful condition and then further contributes to pain. Furthermore, muscle tension can put pressure on nerves, leading to tingling and numbness."

http://prc.canadianpaincoalition.ca/en/coping_with_muscle_tension.html

"A MODEL OF PAIN-RELATED CYCLES

Much felt pain includes secondary pain resulting from pain-fear-tension cycles. Indirect actions that shift elements of the pain-fear-tension cycle or the related positive cycle are often able to decrease felt pain signals. By the time pained clients get to a bodyworker, it may be that most of the pain is secondary or that what started the cycle no longer exists
Primary pain or signal pain causes reflex holding, a splinting of injured or threatened parts by tight muscles, an early shift toward secondary pain cycles.

This double cycle summarizes the many ways we can lower or raise pain signals. Decreasing tension or fear can improve pain, just as tension and fear go down when pain stops. The linked positive cycle shows why gentle, pleasurable, rhythmic movement within your window of comfort not only leads to more effective body use, but can also decrease pain signals.

Physiologic background and assumptions:
In health, pain is a signal that something needs attention. Chronic pain also signals something needing attention, even when a response to stop the signal can't be found.

Secondary pain involves local muscle spasms, which limit circulation as tight muscles mash blood capillaries, cause waste products to accumulate, and produce pain signals. Holding against pain tightens muscles to create more tension, pain, and fear.

In the body, lower motor neurons (nerve cells) in the spinal cord extend out to the muscles and control contraction. Unless they are stroked and relaxed by signals from upper motor neurons in the brain, lower motor neurons fire all the time, causing muscle contraction, rigidity, and loss of control. In stroke, for example, loss of upper motor neurons results in rigidity and loss of relaxation ability in affected body parts. Tetanus produces rigidity because the nerve endings from upper centers are poisoned by tetanus toxin.

Increased sensory signals (like those from touch or gentle movement) give information about the body to the upper motor neurons of the functional mind. This sensory information lets these control centers automatically balance needed tension and release unneeded tension. Blocks to taking in sensory signals from the body are added pain, fear, tension, trying hard, tight goals, pressure, and thinking instead of feeling.

Positive assumptions are pain as signal, pain as message, pain as tool, pain as accepted (even if disliked). A negative assumption is pain as enemy. Even excessive, unwanted, unneeded pain, if assumed to be an enemy, is fought against and the rejection of hurting body parts creates disconnection and limits healing. Because body feedback is so important, signals not listened to will get stronger, not a response we want with pain signals."

http://www.joeleegriffin.com/Trager/Pain_Signals.htm

The ability to cope with pain

http://www.birthsense.org/Can-Women-Develop-a-Higher-Pain-Tolerance-.html

I wanted to share this as I was just discussing with a friend how I felt like with each of my labors, my ability to cope with contractions got better and better. I think learning to deal with pain has been one of the lessons I value from my labors. Even as my labors progressed, I found my ability to cope, improve.

I'm not sure if most people would value the ability to cope with pain. Most of the time we would just like to avoid it, but being able to cope with it is helpful. Then if we can go beyond just coping, and reach the point were pain can teach us....that's when we become better than who we were previously.

Accepting and embracing pain

"What an amazing feeling to experience the pains of bringing a child into the world. I am by no means saying that I was strong about it or didn't do my share of wanting it to be over. I got whiny, and whimpered at times over the 12-hour labor. Yet, through it all, I loved the fact that I could sacrifice in this way. Through experiencing the pain, I could be the life-giver! In this society we are taught to be afraid of pain and to do whatever we can to rid ourselves of it. Instead, the key is to accept and integrate it. Tim likened it to the way sun dancers give of themselves and endure great physical pain to pray for their loved ones."

I loved this woman's birth story! You can find it here: http://www.babycenter.com/100_birth-story-a-native-american-journey_5235224.bc

What I really appreciated was her idea that the key to working through labor is to accept it, and integrate it. I have found how important these two things are and that it is an on going process from the time you first decide to work on it, to after the baby is born. I have seen that labors are the most painful when women no longer do this. It's at the time that they decide they absolutely need the epidural that the pain becomes true pain. It's when they start fighting it and pushing it back, that it becomes unconquerable.

I found this to be true with my own labors. I have very vivid memories of one time in particular when I forgot to accept the pain and it hurt much worse than it had before. I pulled myself back in and refocused by allowing the pain to work through me. I was amazed at the difference between one contraction and the next.

Healing

I came across this blog post and thought I'd post it here. http://mybestbirth.ning.com/profiles/blogs/my-healing-journey

I think it's so important to ackowledge that working to heal from traumatic birth experiences is important. Here's just my own two cents. I have never had what I would call a traumatic birth experience, but I have experienced trials, difficulties, fears, and pain. From what I can tell from reading other people's experiences and then added to my own, these are some of the most important things to work through when healing:

1. Allowing yourself time to grieve(this is hard when it has to do with birth because you are supposed to be happy you have the baby here, but your pain about the experience needs to be acknowledged and worked through)

2. Don't run away from the emotions you feel(anger, pain, fear, heartache). If we bury these emotions, they will never be dealt with. You need to feel them full on and let them work their way through you.

3. Acknowledge the role played by all involved, but learn to forgive. To me there is an important thing to do here. We are human and all make mistakes, but I can almost guarantee you that 95% of people are mostly good. That the decisions that are made are based off of what they feel is best, not because they want to hurt you. I know when I was bothered by an experience I had after a birth, I had to make a point to think of good things about the doctor that delivered me. I have sense worked with him, and would not choose him as my doctor, but he really is a good man and has no clue that what he did caused me emotional pain.

From the blog post, "I wanted my doctor to realize how much I was hurting and in the beginning, it was comforting to have a target at which to aim my blame. The truth is, and while I do believe her call to pitocin and a c-section were premature, multiple factors, including a personal choice to deliver at a hospital despite knowing in my heart of hearts I would NOT feel safe or comfortable there, played into the entire scene. On no one single person can I rest the blame. I have come to a point where I can look at the situation and objectively say, "My doctor is an outstanding surgeon, I like her as a person, and while I will find a midwife to work with next time, I want to continue to stay under my doctor's care. I recognize that there is a 2.5% chance that a woman will need an unforeseen c-section while in labor, and that the risk jumps to 3% for a woman with a previous c-section. I don't expect I will need a c-section with any future babies, but God forbid I do, I want her to do it because I trust her skill as a surgeon." Besides that, she believes in me. Right after the surgery was finished, she told me that I'm ready to go for a VBAC the next time, and told me so again after looking at my uterine scar via ultrasound at my 6-week postpartum checkup."

And then here is a quote that I particularly like form this blog

"You mean I am never free of this?" No, and someday a woman might not want to be. It is part of her, and it makes her whole. Loss and challenge are part of life. Once this realization is acknowledged, a woman must decide what she is doing with that life."

"My most intense moments of joy are sometimes found after experiencing pain; there is a sharper, clearer sensation of joy. I know what joy feels like after I have been in despair."

I hope we can all learn to feel that joy.

Just one more side note: As a nurse who has watched women having to deal with unexpected c-sections or traumatic births, I admire them so much. To me having to go through that is just as much a sacrifice for their children as anything else. I admire the strength and love that a mother has as she deals with these difficult trials. So I say to all moms, and particularly those who have to work through a traumatic experience, thank-you. Thank-you for sacrificing yourself to bring a beautiful child into this world. Because trust me, you are amazing.

Foot massage and gratitude

I was really tired the other night and my dear husband came and gave me a foot massage. It reminded me of all the massages I was given while in labor. He spent a lot of time pushing on my back and would comment afterwards how is hands hurt. In all reality, I'm pretty sure I was working much harder, but once I became pregnant, there was nothing I could do about it. My husband, on the other hand, could at any point in time just left me. He could have just sat down on the chair while I labored. He could have gotten offended at how curt I was with him. Or when I told him not to touch me, he could have just walked away.

So, while I did a good majority of the hard work in my labors:), I am grateful my husband did not walk away. But stayed with me, held my hand, rubbed my back, withstood my sharp tones. I almost think that this is a good example of how I should be a mother.....

The fear/pain/anger of tramatic birth experiences and how to overcome?

This is a site with some brutally honest, painful expressions of what one woman felt like after her c-section. http://www.cesarean-art.com/ It brought tears to my eyes to think that she felt so much pain about what happened to her. I also know that not all c-sections cause this kind of pain, but I think we need to understand how some women have felt about what happens to them.

I think we need to understand the pain, but what I would really like to show, is peaceful healing pictures also. So, I'm asking for some...How have you healed from traumatic birth experiences, what has allowed peace to come back into your lives? How have you found love instead of fear and hate? How have you overcome the feelings of fear, loss, and anger? While I appreciate this artists expression of the pain she felt, I would also like to show expressions of finding forgiveness and love afterwards. So, to anyone who would like to, please share.

"I can't do it anymore"

With all of my births I have thought that I just can't do this anymore, or "I'm never having anymore kids". (I have five:)) I have said how tired I am, how I just want it to stop. "Isn't there someway to make this stop?" The problem is, at this point in labor, you can't be reasoned with. Working through the contractions takes a lot out of you. But afterwards, I am quite happy that I didn't get any pain medication.

It was interesting to be on the other side with a laboring a patient I had. By the end of her labor I was sure she would absolutely never go without an epidural again. So I asked her...and low and behold, she told me how grateful she was for my help, and how she was glad she didn't get the epidural. And she had epidurals with her previous children. It made me pause for a second. There has to be more about how we perceive pain than just the actual sensations. There is also more to how we deal with it.

Here's a brief link to a site that talks about some of the things to expect during transition(one of the hardest parts of labor):http://nursingbirth.com/2009/02/08/top-ten-things-women-saydo-during-labor-and-trust-me…-they-are-totally-normal/

Birth in Slovania

"I am from Slovenia (neighbour country to Italy and Croatia....).

We dont talk about giving a birth in that "pain" way. We are talking regarding what is the most natural and normal way of giving birth for mother and for baby. That is why we do not have so many epidurals, as they are saying that a lot of babies are then being born with a help of vacuum....possible complications...

My both grandmothers are still alive and one of them had 11 children and the other had 9 childer. They all gave birth at their home, alone, no midwifes....nothing....and all of my aunts and uncles are normal, succesfull people. So we all believe that womens body is "designed" to carry a baby and to give a birth and we shouldnt make out of that experience a mediacal procedure. In Slovenia, you can not have scheduled c-section, unless there is a medical health reason for it. A group of doctors, beside yours, will decide, if you need c-section or not. And it is really rare.

You are talking about mortality of babies...I dont remember if i have heard of maybe 2-3 babies in last 15 years, being born dead or died right after birth in Slovenia.

And another very important thing that my grandmothers told to me....lets say advices: when you feel that the proces of birthing had begun sit on a hot towel..it will help you open more easily, warm showers; move, move and move - walk.....; and for the last part of the birth, when you feel urge to push...go into sitting position, hold your self to something solid, and then push. They dont understand how a woman can give birth by lying in bed.

All of my girlfriends and the other women that I know, have given birth in hosptital, totally naturally, or in our meaning normally, with their housbant at their side and midwife. When you see a doctor during birthing process you know that there is something really wrong. Even when you have induced contractions, they dont give a women epidural.

When I was talking to a few friends and my mom that I am thinking about epidural...she told me why? Birthing a baby is a normal end of a carriing process, and why would I like to robb myself from that wonderful experience, of baby being put to your chest right after birth, and of knowing that you did your own birth. She sais that it is very empowering feeling at the end, and that she feels "sorry" for the man, that they do not have privilege to feel that, like we do. And my mom was under induced contractions for 12 hours with me.

And another thing. We also do not have a mesaument for 'timing' a normal birth. If a women is not dialeted at least 4-5 cm, they wont accept you into the hospital.....unless they diagnose, that something is not ok while checking you."*

I thought this was a fascinating look at how culture plays a part in how we view birth. In the US, I feel like birth, and the pains of birth are surrounded in fear. Many, many women fear the pain of birth, yet according to this lady from Slovenia, they don't there. I also thought how neat it was that she was able receive wisdom from her grandmothers regarding birth. Most of our grandparents were part of an era where they were drugged up for birth and don't even remember it. Not only that, but this was something women were often times forced to do. What a neat heritage of birth women can receive. Just having that would be awesome.

*http://mybestbirth.ning.com/forum/topics/experience-from-europe?page=1&commentId=3120006:Comment:47088&x=1#3120006Comment47088

Acceptance

When I was pregnant with my first child, a local birth center was recommended to me. I had never thought about different childbirth options, but thought it might be a good way to go and see what birth was like without an epidural. I went into birth, knowing full well that I would feel pain, but I accepted that. Of course, I didn't understand at that point what that really felt like, but there was a sense of peace in that decision for me. I wasn't adamant about how I wanted my birth to be, I just let it unfold with all the mystery that it held.

After that birth, I knew three things: 1) childbirth did hurt:) 2) it was hard work, 3) it was something I was capable of doing. I found great satisfaction with my birth, even though it was painful, and because of this I realized that joy, happiness, and contentment are not related to the amount of pain we feel.

I found this quote in a book I've read that describes difficulties in life, but I feel like it relates quite well to how I've viewed the pain of childbirth.

"Life is difficult...Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters" (From the Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck).

The pain of childbirth is, of course, something we must all come to terms with, and we all deal with it in different ways. I would just hope that we can find room to allow it to help us grow, no matter how we choose to deal with it.

Motherhood and love

I took a bath today for the first time since I was laboring with the last of my children. As I sat there I recalled memories of my labors and soaking in the water to help relieve the pain. I realized that I consider my labors to be a blessing. Mostly because the pain and the trials and the comfort and the prayers are all mixed up in my mind with the joy and happiness of being a mother.

I think not only of the trials of birth, but the trials of motherhood also. Will I look back on this time also with feelings of satisfaction and joy? Even in the midst of difficulties and pain....I feel the love I have for my children and I am a peace.

I have heard of some women who resent their children for bringing upon them the pains of labor. And I feel sorry that such a joyous moment could be harrowed by such a sad thought. For them, I wish they did have the epidural. Or something that could help them feel the peace and joy I have felt. For me though, the pains of labor have taught me love. Or maybe it's love that allowed the pains of labor to become meaningful. Either way, as I sit and contemplate, I am once again filled with love for my children and the desire to be the best mother I can.

Labor story

I just wanted to post this link here because I thought it was a wonderfully written birth story...just to warn you, though, there is some swearing in it.

http://www.dooce.com/2009/08/04/labor-story-part-three

Blessings

So basically I've heard two mindsets in regards to pain, and both of them are considered blessings. First, the idea that being able to experience a birth and work through the pain is considered a blessing. Second, the very fact that we are able to have drugs that will help to decrease the pain is considered a blessing. In either case a blessing is involved and is acknowledged as such.

In the LDS religion we believe that blessings come from the Lord and are available to help us in times of need. Elder Bednar has said this: "Since last October I have reflected repeatedly upon the phrase 'the tender mercies of the Lord.' Through personal study, observation, pondering, and prayer, I believe I have come to better understand that the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits 'his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men'(D&C 46:15)".

Some ideas that I have heard from people around this idea have to do with being grateful for these perceived blessings. "I was grateful to be able to do the hard work of labor", "I was grateful for the medication that we have these days", "I was grateful that I was able to not have unneeded medications". etc.

Believing that these things can be and are blessings from God may not change whether or not we follow the predominate culture in our birthing practices, but it does change how we perceive it.

The value of Pain

In the LDS religion, pain and trials are seen as something that is valued. We believe that before this life we choose to come here and experience pain so that we could become more like our Heavenly Father. We believe that Eve knowingly made the choice to experience pain in mortality so that they could become more like God. Somehow experiencing pain, in the LDS view, is associated with becoming better people. From the last conference address, President Eyring expressed this view.

"The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of [Heavenly Father's and Christ's] infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks....

"...we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him.

Henry B. Erying, "Adversity," Ensign, April 2009, 23

On the other hand, I don't think we would ever hear anyone teach that we should not try and avoid pain or adversity. I think the key here is not what kind of trials or pain we go through, but how we choose to experience them.

It's so hard to try and guess how the LDS population takes this perspective with them into childbirth. How do women/mother's view their childbirth experience as it pertains to learning from pain, and do they find any value in it? I'm not just talking about the whole epidural thing either, because let's face it, pregnancy and birth are hard work no matter what way you choose. In reality, motherhood could be faced with the same questions.

Does our view of pain influence how we view birth and how we choose to give birth? With our perspective of pain, do we gain anything from going through the trials of childbirth? I would be curious to see what others thought. I'll share some of my own thoughts from what I've seen in my next post. I would also direct anyone to see Jennifer Fulwiler's post that she shared in the comments section. It's truely beautiful for those who are of a more religious mindset. It is also and interesting example of how one's religion might effect their views of childbirth.

Holding on

I know there are times in my life that I struggle and struggle just to hold on to my sanity. So many times I have wanted just to give up or not wake up the next morning to the same thing. But I've pressed forward, knowing that the struggle will not last forever and that at some point after the struggle I find great rewards from going through that struggle.

Because of this I have come to realize that, while things can be rough at points in our life, the struggle to hold on reaps benefits in the end. I see this in labor as women work to find their way through the emotions of labor. In particular I see the difficulties of giving in. This is not really about whether or not you get an epidural or choose to endure the pain...this is about our emotional state. Emotionally when women have given in (whether or not they have an epidural), I see a look of despair and helplessness. It pains me to see this, because I want these beautiful women to know how strong they really are and how important what they have done and what they are doing is.

I want to hold them and rock them and tell them to hold on...just hold on...in the end..after the pain...will be joy.

A new level of ten

At the hospital we have a pain rating system: 0 is no pain, and 10 is the worst pain. I had a mother come in last night with a pain level of 10. A little while later when asked about her pain level, she said she had reached a new level of 10. It got me to thinking about how the pain we experience gives us new levels of tens. Not just in labor, but as mothers also.

Labor is a good example of how we overcome those times and draw meaning from them. And I can tell you now, it is not done alone. Or at least, it is much easier if not done alone. One of the things I value most about my labor experience was how my relationship with my husband was affected. I think it really helped draw us closer together. I thought it was really tender to watch these new parents I worked with, come together to overcome a new level of ten. I loved being a part of that also as I helped to calm and reassure a new mom.

I think we all hit new levels of tens in our lives. I think it helps to have someone to hold onto. I think we also need to keep in mind that we should be reaching out also to help someone else with their new levels of ten. Then maybe those tens will seem more bearable.

Integrating Pain

As I have talked with different people about pain and how it effects them, I have come to realize how important it is to integrate it into our memories and life experiences.  For me, this blog has been a way of doing this.  As I have reflected on my labor expereinces, I have begun to make the pain I felt a part of who I am.  

This didn't really happen while I was in labor.   The pain of labor didn't hold much meaning for me until I reflected back on it afterwards and asked myself why I even choose to give birth the way I did.  It was while I was doing this that the memory of the pain became sweet and filled with joy rather than fear.  

For me I have done this with my writing, but I have seen it used very successfully with art.  I really feel like this would be useful for those who have especially tramatic experiences or memories filled with fear.  Somehow, using words and art to understand the pain I felt allows me to not only find meaning in it, but accept it as a part of me.  In all honosty, pain is not what I fear most in pregnancy...not that I don't have fears, but the pain was become sweet to me somehow....

The practical side of pain

Ok, so some women I think have learned how to not feel the pain.  Many childbirth classes will talk about how to make labor as painless as possible.  But, it has been my experience that childbirth is painful..very much so.  I think it does us a disservice to disregard that, even though I apppreciate those that are able to call their labors painless.  

So, the question I ask myself is, how can I ask myself and others to deal with the pain.  I have found many reasons for myself personally, but it has taken some effort and much introspecition to find meaning in the pain of labor.  For those who are a bit more practical, I found another interesting theory as to why we do and should feel labor pain.  Bear in mind that this is theoritical and I don't think could ever actually be proven, but I thought it was an interesting idea.

There really is a reason our bodies feel pain and that is to protect us or help us to work through potentially dangerous situations.  If you think of when you touch something hot, this is what happens.  Your hand touches a burner that could possibly burn you.  Your nerves send signals to your brain it is hot and you should pull your hand away.  We feel this as pain and move our hands so that it doesn't hurt any more.  

The same thing could be happening during labor pain.  You are experiencing pain, so you move your body in a way that decreases that pain.  Because of this, you body is positioned in a way that best facilitates the birth of a baby and the opening up of the pelvis to allow the baby to come through.  This idea made sense to me.  

If you ask anyone who is allowed to birth without interventions, more than likely they will tell you that sitting still was the absolute worst way to give birth.  From expereince, I can tell you that giving birth on the back (which by the way leaves the least amount of room for that baby to get through), is the  most painful position and I would never do that again unless I had to.  If you watch a women in labor without pain medications, you will see lots of movement and shifting, walking and kneeling.  For these reasons, the idea that the pain is used as an indicator of how best to position that baby in you makes sense to me.  

So there's the practical side of pain, now how to deal with it is a whole different matter, and in all reality there are times when pain control is needed.  But I think it helps to understand that there might really be a reason for it.

The perception of pain

I was just reading some birth stories about some women who describe their contractions as simply strong sensations. They then went on to describe how they actually enjoyed these. Now, I am very supportive of natural birth, but my labor was painful! So, it intrigued me that these women were describing it as something different. It got me thinking about how we perceive pain.

When I was pregnant with my last child, I started to get a little sick one day (as most pregnant women do). I woke up that night and started throwing up, but didn't think anything of it. I was pregnant after all. I got up the next day, feeling a little lousy, but went on with my day and doing all that needed to be done. Throwing up didn't even phase me, because I knew I was pregnant. The next day the nausea had completely disappeared and I felt so much better, that I realized that I had actually had the stomach flu. I was completely fine for the rest of my pregnancy.

Now, I am sure if I hadn't been pregnant, I would have been down in my bed feeling so completely horrible that even the thought of getting up would have made me throw up. I would have noticed the belly aches, and the fatigue. Because I was pregnant, though, I felt a little sick, but ok to go about my daily work. And I got to thinking how our minds can play tricks on us and make us feel worse or better depending on how we viewed things.

Another example, do you remember ever skinning your knees as a kid.? You are running along, you trip and scrape your knee. You are having way to much fun to put up a big fuss about it, so you just go along playing. As soon as you get home and notice the dried blood though, all of sudden it hits you that you are in pain. I've seen this happen with my own kids.

Perhaps the reason why we view labor as painful is because we are told it is painful, we expect it to be painful, it is drilled into us that labor equals pain. Well, I still think it is painful, at least mine where. I do admit, though, that when I found myself joking and laughing through my contractions, I did not perceive my pain as difficult. This has made me think more about what pain really is. Perhaps the reason those ladies I wrote about at the beginning felt like their labors were just a strong sensations was because that is how they choose to perceive it. Is pain really a choice? Or maybe perhaps partially so?

I think an even more interesting idea is how this might apply to us as mothers....is there some way we can change our perceptions of our difficulties? Do our trials and difficulties have to equal pain? Or can we work to perceive them as merely strong sensations? And most importantly, will this make a difference in how we treat our children and our spouses? I'll think on that one.....