New Beginnings Doula Training

New Beginnings Doula Training
Courses for doulas and online childbirth education

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Acceptance

When I was pregnant with my first child, a local birth center was recommended to me. I had never thought about different childbirth options, but thought it might be a good way to go and see what birth was like without an epidural. I went into birth, knowing full well that I would feel pain, but I accepted that. Of course, I didn't understand at that point what that really felt like, but there was a sense of peace in that decision for me. I wasn't adamant about how I wanted my birth to be, I just let it unfold with all the mystery that it held.

After that birth, I knew three things: 1) childbirth did hurt:) 2) it was hard work, 3) it was something I was capable of doing. I found great satisfaction with my birth, even though it was painful, and because of this I realized that joy, happiness, and contentment are not related to the amount of pain we feel.

I found this quote in a book I've read that describes difficulties in life, but I feel like it relates quite well to how I've viewed the pain of childbirth.

"Life is difficult...Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters" (From the Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck).

The pain of childbirth is, of course, something we must all come to terms with, and we all deal with it in different ways. I would just hope that we can find room to allow it to help us grow, no matter how we choose to
deal with it.

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Birth is a Journey: Does it have to be life changing?


  • One woman might have to climb on an overfilled boat, risking her life and nearly dying as she escapes over the ocean to come to this land. This experience could certainly be life altering. It may very well color the rest of her life, positively or negatively. (I overcame this amazing struggle and here I am triumphant! OR Holy crap, that was SO hard I don’t know if I can go on! By the way, neither response is “right”. No one would judge the woman with the 2nd response.)
  • One woman may buy an airplane ticket, sit on a comfortable 747 and fly to America with a nice smooth flight and landing. She is happy to be in America. Those welcoming her are glad she is here safe and sound. She may only travel by plane 2-4 times in her life, so it is pretty memorable. But the journey itself probably wouldn’t be life changing; it would simply be a journey.
  • One woman may learn to fly an ultra-light plane to lead a flock of geese into America teaching them to migrate. This experience could certainly be empowering and life altering.