New Beginnings Doula Training

New Beginnings Doula Training
Courses for doulas and online childbirth education

Friday, January 29, 2010

Calm and peace

I just had an interesting comment from a lady tonight. She told me, that even though there were a few people around her telling her how to push and counting and holding her, that it was my calm, quiet voice, that she heard. It made me wonder how and why someone could latch on to something like that in the middle of noise. And how much we really need that.

I know I have never liked the noise of delivery. I had that at only one of my births and I swore I would never do that with a woman in labor. The thing is, when your in labor, you need calm and quiet. You need a peaceful feeling, and quiet reassurances. It's interesting being on the other end of this also. As a caregiver, I find myself connecting much more with a woman in labor when I quietly breathe with her, or focus her attention to my face to work through contractions.

The hard part, sometimes my attention can not be so focused. Sometimes the baby needs attention, sometimes there are medical things I need to focus on. So, I applaud those women who choose to support laboring they doula's, mothers, friends, husbands, or sisters. The work you do is so important and I appreciate the calming influence you have.

And then I remind myself, that this applies to many areas of life. How much more effective are we as mothers when we calmly talk to our children, rather than yell. When we watch for the right moment to speak, rather than interrupt what others are saying. When we focus our attention on what others really need, rather than just being noisy. I know it makes me want to try to much more of a peace maker in my own home.

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Birth is a Journey: Does it have to be life changing?

  • One woman might have to climb on an overfilled boat, risking her life and nearly dying as she escapes over the ocean to come to this land. This experience could certainly be life altering. It may very well color the rest of her life, positively or negatively. (I overcame this amazing struggle and here I am triumphant! OR Holy crap, that was SO hard I don’t know if I can go on! By the way, neither response is “right”. No one would judge the woman with the 2nd response.)
  • One woman may buy an airplane ticket, sit on a comfortable 747 and fly to America with a nice smooth flight and landing. She is happy to be in America. Those welcoming her are glad she is here safe and sound. She may only travel by plane 2-4 times in her life, so it is pretty memorable. But the journey itself probably wouldn’t be life changing; it would simply be a journey.
  • One woman may learn to fly an ultra-light plane to lead a flock of geese into America teaching them to migrate. This experience could certainly be empowering and life altering.