New Beginnings Doula Training

New Beginnings Doula Training
Courses for doulas and online childbirth education

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Becoming a mother

So I just heard a quote recently from Elenore Roosevelt. She was a mother of six children but felt like she was not a natural mother. This made me stop and think because I have heard women say that all the time. It made me wonder what does it mean to be a natural mother and is anyone really one of those.

Here's the thing about's hard. OK that's no secret but no one can truly prepare you for how hard it can be until you embark on that journey. But here's the other one can quite explain to you the joys of it either. You can tell someone just how cute your boys smile was or how proud you are for decisions your children have made but it just doesn't mean as much until you experience it. Likewise you really don't know what kind of mother you are until you become one. And the key to that is that it is about becoming...not just the bearing and raising of a child....but about you yourself changing and growing to become the sort of mom you want or need to be.

Honestly I don't think any of us starts out as a natural mother(who really naturally likes to give everything of herself for the greater good...not too many). But as we become mothers and learn what it means to give all of ourselves to a greater good...we become a mother.

I tell my daughter that she has to put up with all my mistakes and problems because she's the first. I'll be the perfect mom once she starts having kids:)

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Birth is a Journey: Does it have to be life changing?

  • One woman might have to climb on an overfilled boat, risking her life and nearly dying as she escapes over the ocean to come to this land. This experience could certainly be life altering. It may very well color the rest of her life, positively or negatively. (I overcame this amazing struggle and here I am triumphant! OR Holy crap, that was SO hard I don’t know if I can go on! By the way, neither response is “right”. No one would judge the woman with the 2nd response.)
  • One woman may buy an airplane ticket, sit on a comfortable 747 and fly to America with a nice smooth flight and landing. She is happy to be in America. Those welcoming her are glad she is here safe and sound. She may only travel by plane 2-4 times in her life, so it is pretty memorable. But the journey itself probably wouldn’t be life changing; it would simply be a journey.
  • One woman may learn to fly an ultra-light plane to lead a flock of geese into America teaching them to migrate. This experience could certainly be empowering and life altering.