New Beginnings Doula Training

New Beginnings Doula Training
Courses for doulas and online childbirth education

Saturday, April 26, 2008


For those of us who have bad experiences with labor and delivery, it can be hard and bitter to remember. My last birth was one that was not so optimal. I harbor a lot of hard feelings towards the doctor who ended up delivering my baby. He was taken away from me early and I felt that loss of attachment later on and it really hurt me emotionally. I have struggled with my ill feelings towards those involved with that birth. So this post is a way for me to heal and forgive.

I don't agree with how the doctor had me push (I was on my back). I don't like the fact that he pulled my baby and placenta from me. I don't like how he was taken away from me before I could even see him and there was nothing wrong with him ( his apgar scores were 8 and 9). It hurts me now to think about it because it hurt me so much then. My greatest joy after going through so much pain is to have my little one close to me and hold him. That was taken from me. But,..... the doctor who ended up delivering me was providing care for me on call..he had never met me, yet he chose to do this. He had been trained in a school of thought that getting the baby out was the best possible thing. The nurses were doing what they felt was best, and I did get to nurse my baby within the first hour. I am healthy; my baby is healthy. These were good people who delivered my child. And I forgive them. I don't want to harbor ill feelings anymore.

The more I think about it, the more I am struck with the fact that these really are good people, just misinformed. And I want to do my part in providing better care for others.

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Birth is a Journey: Does it have to be life changing?

  • One woman might have to climb on an overfilled boat, risking her life and nearly dying as she escapes over the ocean to come to this land. This experience could certainly be life altering. It may very well color the rest of her life, positively or negatively. (I overcame this amazing struggle and here I am triumphant! OR Holy crap, that was SO hard I don’t know if I can go on! By the way, neither response is “right”. No one would judge the woman with the 2nd response.)
  • One woman may buy an airplane ticket, sit on a comfortable 747 and fly to America with a nice smooth flight and landing. She is happy to be in America. Those welcoming her are glad she is here safe and sound. She may only travel by plane 2-4 times in her life, so it is pretty memorable. But the journey itself probably wouldn’t be life changing; it would simply be a journey.
  • One woman may learn to fly an ultra-light plane to lead a flock of geese into America teaching them to migrate. This experience could certainly be empowering and life altering.