New Beginnings Doula Training

New Beginnings Doula Training
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Thursday, October 29, 2009

The joys we choose

Ok, so I'm sitting here at 4am after waking up with a fussy child, and I can't go back to sleep. As a result, I think...maybe a little too much:) I wonder about the wonderful children we have and what makes them so beautiful to me. How can I love something so much that gives me so much anguish sometimes? It is difficult to explain to someone the joys of motherhood who just doesn't see it the same way you do. It's so easy to make a list of the horrible things about being a mom.....no sleep, no thank-you, giving constantly, working to keep things together, mentally exhausted, tantrums, fights....the list could go on and on, So, why in the world do I choose to do this.

Here's one reason why....the other night my daughter came to me in tears....bawling...asking me to please not get mad at her. I gave her a hug and told her no matter what happened I would always love her. So she told me the horrible news. She had LIED to me:) (I had known about this..she is actually a pretty good liar). And she felt horrible. She couldn't sleep at all because she had been thinking about it. And I....I wanted to jump up and shout for joy. I was so happy that she 1) felt like she was safe and could confess this to me, 2) understood that what she did was wrong 3) something I was teaching her was getting through to her. Funny, the joys of motherhood huh, but I had to pull myself together and actually think of a punishment for her:) We hugged and talked and enjoyed just being with each other after that. But even the joy of that story can't put it all into words about the joy that comes from motherhood.

I often feel the same way about birth and pregnancy. I think we all know the list of things that is difficult with that one. But here's the cool thing....you are creating life. Life. A sacred child, that you soon learn to love and adore, is growing and starting it's life within your own. With each day of pain, nausea, exhaustion, loss of self and sleep, a new life is being formed and we are allowed to be a part of that. That amazes me.

And to me, the fact that we are giving birth, is more important than how we give birth. My experience of natural child birth, has made me reflect more on that than anything, but I don't think it should be exclusive to giving birth without drugs. I wonder though, if the power of birth and life would mean as much to me if I hadn't given birth naturally. I understand pain so differently now, as well as sacrifice...would that have changed? I'll never know. We live the lives we've chosen. But all I can say is, I'm grateful to be a mother, and I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned through the trials of pregnancy, labor, birth, and motherhood. I'm grateful for the joys of bringing life into this world and the joys of continuing to shape and mold those lives. It's indescribable.

3 comments:

Christina said...

What a beautiful post! It's funny how something so hard can bring so much joy, isn't it?

Oh, and I can attest that every one of my births was meaningful and powerful, even with that wonderful epidural ;)

Rachel said...

Christina-to me that is what is really important along with healthy baby and mom:)

Terra Wellness said...

I just started following your blog...this was a beautiful post. :)

Birth is a Journey: Does it have to be life changing?


  • One woman might have to climb on an overfilled boat, risking her life and nearly dying as she escapes over the ocean to come to this land. This experience could certainly be life altering. It may very well color the rest of her life, positively or negatively. (I overcame this amazing struggle and here I am triumphant! OR Holy crap, that was SO hard I don’t know if I can go on! By the way, neither response is “right”. No one would judge the woman with the 2nd response.)
  • One woman may buy an airplane ticket, sit on a comfortable 747 and fly to America with a nice smooth flight and landing. She is happy to be in America. Those welcoming her are glad she is here safe and sound. She may only travel by plane 2-4 times in her life, so it is pretty memorable. But the journey itself probably wouldn’t be life changing; it would simply be a journey.
  • One woman may learn to fly an ultra-light plane to lead a flock of geese into America teaching them to migrate. This experience could certainly be empowering and life altering.