A different strength

Normally when we talk about strength and birth, we picture a woman braving it through the pains of labor, but I wanted to talk about a different kind of strength this time. Sometimes, when things don't go as planned, I see a look of defeat and hopelessness on the mothers part. Many times this happens when they are told that they are just not dilating enough and need a c-section. What amazes me though is how they move forward.

They move forward by continuing to even want to bear children. They shoulder their responsibility and don't let their trials pull them down. You can't tell me that a mother who goes through 24 hours of labor to only get a c-section is not brave or strong. Because they are. What is even neater is to see the ones who break out and decide that they will take charge of their next birth. They will seek other options. They will fight for what they believe to be their choices and options. The defeat is often turned into a victory that way.

It is my opinion that just choosing to carry and bear children requires a certain kind of strength in and of itself, regardless of how that baby arrives here. And then to continue to do so afterwards, once consequences and attitudes are in place, is even braver. I only wish those that feel defeated could see how truly strong they really are.

Strength

When I have told people that I give birth without an epidural, I often hear the comment ,"Wow, you must be strong", or "oh, I'm not that strong", and this has lead me to contemplate what strength really is. When I think of strong people, I think of people who have had to make difficult decisions. People who choose to go a certain direction, or act a certain way in the face of great hardships to achieve a greater outcome.

In truth, I don't feel like I am much stronger than any other women giving birth. Pregnancy, giving birth, and motherhood all are difficult decisions that require great physical and mental sacrifice. Yet I think most mothers would agree, that these sacrifices are worth it. The decision to become a mother, requires great strength. For me experiencing labor has sent me on a journey of self discovery and truth that I have come to value. So much so that, yes, I choose to experience that pain. But through that pain I have gained understanding. So my strength does not necessarily come from being able to withstand pain, but valuing the experience and understanding what I gain from that. Our strength as mothers could be the same.